Breaking up is hard to do. No matter if you’re the one getting dumped or the one pulling the plug on the relationship – heartbreak is heartbreak and getting over an ex can feel like an impossible task. Unfortunately, there is no magic cure to mend a broken heart, but there are steps you can take to move on.
1. Let yourself feel the hurt
The most important part of the healing process is to allow yourself to experience your emotions. Being in emotional pain is uncomfortable -so the natural inclination is to try and make yourself forget that you’re hurting. While distraction has a time and a place in the process of letting go, initially you need to face the pain. It is okay to lay in bed and cry for a few days, or to eat a whole gallon of ice cream by yourself, and while you’re at it, you might as well listen to that one Sam Smith song on repeat that makes you ugly cry.
2. Throw away his sweatshirt
Can’t bear to get rid of his hoodie or delete his voicemails off your phone? Keeping around little reminders of him will only make it more difficult to get over him in the long run. So, go ahead and tear up those pictures and trash the mix-tape he made you. Trust me –your future self will thank you.
3. Remember that it takes two to break up
It is easy to put all the blame on yourself or your ex. Going through a breakup puts a big emotional toll on you, so try to be gentle with yourself during this time. Instead of letting the “what ifs” spin around in your head all day, try combating these thoughts with a more positive mantra like: “This is for the best” or “New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings”.
4. Give it time
As cliché as it sounds, time truly heals all wounds. Your significant other was likely a major part of your life, so you won’t be over the loss of your relationship immediately. Take time to transition into your new single life by focusing on other relationships with friends and family.
5. Don’t try to get him back- try to get yourself back
Getting out of a relationship can be very freeing, but also very isolating. Spending most of your time with a significant other can you leave you lonely when you call things quits. Instead of focusing on the negatives, try putting the situation in a different perspective. Being single gives you a unique opportunity to get back in touch with yourself and to learn your likes and dislikes. Use this time to take yourself on dates -go to the movies alone or walk in the park and take in nature. Remember, you need to love yourself before you can love somebody else.