I typically see myself as a mellow person: someone who goes with the flow, has low expectations, and is scared to speak up. I don’t allow myself to get angry, yet one thing that is able to truly get under my skin is something that many citizens of the world know far too well. Now, I don’t typically write things like this, however as I navigate through my first semester of my junior year, I am a student in my first womens’ studies class. To say it point blank, there are gender differences in our world, and to be truthful, it upsets me.Â
It makes me upset that double standards still exist in today’s world. Having grown up with two older brothers I am no stranger to how double standards are executed. No hate to my family at all, in fact, I send praise to them for shaping me to be the person I am today. I say this with no intention of throwing shade at them but despite being the people I look up to and inspire to be, systemic inequalities are something that not even they can fix. Boys and men are typically excused from their behaviors by the term “boys will be boys.” This saying allows boys to act however they want, staying out past curfew, acting out of rage, or even being disrespectful towards women. However, women are seen as rude or unladylike for standing their ground. A son wants a girl to spend the night in their family home? Sure! But a daughter should never even think to ask such a foolish question. Women have the societal pressure to look presentable in public, however, men can simply throw on a new pair of clothes and walk out the door. A man wears a suit, and he is handsome and powerful, yet a woman wears a suit, and she is perceived as cold or heartless. Men don’t cry, right? That’s because crying makes them a woman, which can be seen as an insult, simply think about that. All of these along with numerous others are examples of the double standards that are implemented on the regular within our society.
Double standards are not the only inequality that women face; many also have experienced being objectified. There is a wide range of different levels of sexual harassment and assault, however, one that is very common is the phenomenon of catcalling. Catcalling is wrong for many reasons: it objectifies women to only their physical appearance, creates feelings of unsafety, reinforces gender power imbalances, and can have potential psychological effects on the recipient. It is important to note that sexual harassment can occur to both men and women, however, according to a study conducted by Tulane University, 81.82% of women report that they have experienced some form of sexual harassment in their lives. Sexual harassment clearly is an occasion that happens far too frequently and something that can evolve to be dangerous
Now here is where my personal ethical dilemma steps in. As I speak out about these inequalities, I find myself feeling like a hypocrite. Am I allowed to write these things while still being someone who still falls into gender stereotypes? I am someone who loves to cook and doesn’t mind cleaning. I long to have an epic love story where I find a man to love me effortlessly as I love him. I want to be a mother and wouldn’t be opposed to becoming a stay-at-home mother one day. I love getting dressed up and shopping and all of the things that are considered girly.Â
Navigating these feelings of conflict is challenging. How do I reconcile my personal desires with my advocacy for gender equality? It’s a complex journey, and I’m still figuring it out. I invite you all to join me on this journey.Â
Raj A, Rao N, Patel P, Kearl H. #MeToo 2024: A National Study of Sexual Harassment and Assault in the United States. Newcomb Institute. Tulane University. September 2024. https://newcomb.tulane.edu/content/metoo-research. Â