When my alarm goes off in the morning, the first thing I reach for is my phone. Check my texts, check my Snapchat, maybe my email… Then, before my eyes can even process the light, I am scrolling through my Instagram feed. I scroll past a few “inspirational” quotes, some beach landscapes, someone’s smoothie bowl, even a birthday shout out. However then once that gets boring, I turn for the explore page. Don’t get me wrong, the explore page is pretty cool. Dogs being dogs, make-up tutorials, but the one thing that always catches my attention is regrettably that typical summertime bathing suit pic.
Whether it be runway models, a Jenner sister or even girls I’ve run into on campus, as soon as I saw a suit I immediately went to the account to compare myself to what this girl looked like barely clothed. I did it to myself every time I opened the app and I knew what I was doing wasn’t fair to myself. For all I knew, those pictures could be edited to make them look “Insta-worthy” but nevertheless I let it eat at me. I got so frustrated… why can’t I look like that? It wasn’t until around mid-July when I got fed up with beating myself over a problem that didn’t even exist 5 years ago.
I know it sounds silly, but as a 20 year old girl, it took all my strength to delete the Instagram app from my phone. At first it was weird, it was basically routine of me to open it after checking all of my essential notifications but after a while I sort of forgot about it. After the initial “shock” wore off what I hoped would happen, happened. I didn’t really feel the need to look like other girls, dress like them or have the same body as them. It was empowering to know that I was the one who had control over what I was seeing now. Although I still like to post pictures here and there, now what other people post does not even phase me.