I used to strongly believe that long distance relationships were pointless and doomed to fail regardless of how great of a relationship it was. Needless to say I was the most surprised of all when I decided to start up a relationship last fall, the semester before I was planning to go study abroad in London. In the past year, I’ve gone from not believing in the possibility of long-term relationships, to having a long distance relationship that is better than relationship I’ve ever had.
It’s not always easy.
I used to believe that if a relationship wasn’t easy, it wasn’t right. But a having a few fights doesn’t mean that the relationship is heading down the breakup path. It’s easy to feel like you’re failing at being a good girlfriend if you’re not getting along, but it’s natural to have disagreements sometimes. Don’t blame yourself or your boyfriend – just make sure you work through it.
Don’t worry
One of the biggest things I’ve had to work on is not constantly worrying about how the distance is going to affect the relationship. In my experience, if you worry about it, it will start becoming an issue. But if you try to just enjoy the times you spend together and look forward to your Skype dates or phone calls or visits – the distance will probably seem less threatening.
Be understanding
You have commitments, and so does he. It’s natural to want him to be available during your break between classes, but that’s not always possible. If you understand with him, he’ll understand with you, which will ultimately avoid a fight.
Figure out a schedule that works
Try to figure out times that work best to talk and times that don’t. That way you’ll know what to expect.
Plan Ahead
If you leave planning your visits to the last minute, you’ll probably have conflicting plans. Take 5 minutes every couple of weeks to talk about your schedules and what’s coming up. That way you can figure out when you can plan to see each other and keep that time slot open. This is one of the most important things I have learned from my relationship. Being able to spend physical time together is important, so taking a few minutes to plan for it will be worth it.
If it’s worth it, you’ll want to make it work.
Not every relationship is meant to go long distance. If you’ve tried all these things and your relationship still isn’t working, maybe this was what you needed to realize the relationship wasn’t right. If you feel your mind thinking about what you could be doing instead of making the effort to keep the relationship going, the relationship probably isn’t worth it. For me, making the effort to do these things always seems like a small price to pay for having a relationship that makes me happy. That’s the most important part – if your relationship makes you happy – it’s worth it.