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All Aboard the Hot Mess Express: Handling College Hookups


I'm going to be really honest with you, I am quite a hopeless romantic and I definitely get myself into some deep doo-doo when it comes to college hookups. I let myself think too much about everything and spiral into this ideal "future". It's a problem, I know. But if you're anything like me, hopefully, this article will help you a little bit.

If there is anything I have learned from my experiences with college hookups, it's to make sure the feelings are established and you know where you both stand in the situation. This will save you from letting yourself get too involved, over-thinking the small things, and setting yourself up to get hurt in the end. Trust me, I know it's a terrifying thing to establish those boundaries and feelings, but it'll save you a lot of tears in the end.

Another thing is to keep it light. Don't put too much pressure on the situation, yourself, or your hookup buddy. Creating expectations for the hookup, and for your hookup buddy can get messy. Especially if it's established that it is strictly a hookup-type situation, and not going to evolve into anything else. I've found it easier to reduce awkwardness by joking around with them, creating jokes about the situation and letting them know that you aren't taking it too seriously. Especially if you've both agreed on a friends-with-benefits type deal, you don't want to scare them off.

Pay attention to the signs!! This can be a bit tricky, but if you turn on your observational skills, you'll be able to see them. Talk to your friends about it, ask your sister or even your brother for advice, ask a guy friend to get their perspective. If you start to pick up on signs that seem to be outside the strictly hookup guidelines, don't resort to overthinking! And listen, I am 100% guilty of letting myself think too much about little things, but just let things play out. Mixed signals are our kryptonite, ladies. Don't let it affect you. One day they could be acting like they want to ask you out on a romantic date, and the next act like they have 10 other girls in line. It's mind-boggling, I know, and I don't fully understand it either. Also, make sure you know that it is more than okay to end things if you aren't comfortable with the way things are going. If it's strictly just a hookup situation, you don't owe them anything. If they aren't a royal douche bag and do take your feelings into consideration, be a little more gentle with ending things because they are also a person with feelings. 

Lastly, be honest with yourself. If you start to get genuine feelings for them, do not, and I repeat, DO NOT, ignore them. Be truthful. It can take a lot of time to build up the courage to admit it to them, nevermind yourself. By lying about your feelings, you will only end up hurt in the end. You never know where the other person stands, they could start to develop feelings for you as well, or they could still be thinking of it as a strict hookup. And it's genuinely better for you to figure that out sooner than later, so do yourself a favor girl, be honest with yourself. Save yourself some tears and the heartbreak, allow yourself to be fully expressive and see where it takes you. If it ends there, it ends there. You will find someone else and you'll find what you're looking for.

With all this being said, I want to let all you ladies know that there is absolutely nothing wrong with being a hopeless romantic. There is also nothing wrong with getting involved in hookups. If you start to develop feelings, don't feel stupid or blame yourself for letting yourself read too far into the situation. You may get hurt in the end, but think of it as a growing experience. Take notes and learn. Remind yourself that you are quite the catch. I always take the blame for the way these things end, for no reason at all, and it never helps with the recovery process. It's okay to put your feelings first! Navigating relationships in college can be tricky, so take care of yourself in the process. We got this, ladies! Happy (safe) hooking up!


Hi! My name is Jenna Godin. I'm a senior Sociology major at the University of New Hampshire!
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