Some people are better at things than others. Some people are more athletic, others are better at art. Some people can sit still for hours and finish all their work for the week, while others can hardly sit still for longer than ten minutes. And some people are better at seeing the signs of a friendship becoming a one-way street oppose to a mutual interaction, while others (like myself) fail miserably at cutting off this person.
To justify my list of warning signs, I had recently cut off a toxic friendship (finally) because it was no longer benefitting me. It took me nearly a year because I still wanted to believe my best friend was still in that person’s body. There’s hope in many people’s relationships, but if there are items on the list that happen quite often, consider ending it.
- They only hit you up when they want something.
This person needs a ride to work, a ride home from a party, or has gone down the contact list and no one else can hang out. If you receive texts, calls, facetimes, etc. from this person and the conversation starts off with a favor that needs to be done instead of, “Hi. How are you? How is your day? How’s life”. Cut it off. Your time (and gas money) is much more precious to someone who actually wants to talk about your life than someone who starts the conversation off with a demand.
2. You’re the only one who asks to hang out.
You’re finally home from college and you want to hang out with as many of your friends as you can before you leave again. Or maybe you’re at college. If there’s no reciprocation from them on setting up a hang out, cut it off.
3. Trying to get them to hang out is like pulling teeth.
You practically have to beg them to hang out with you and you constantly have to justify why you guys need to hang out. Uh, because we’re friends? Or so you think. If you’re begging them to hang out with you, cut it off.
4. You constantly find things to get mad at them for.
The littlest things about this person are starting to get under your skin. Things that were not irritating before now are unbearable. Cut it off, before something bad happens!
5. Victim Card
You guys begin fighting because you finally had enough of them using you as a door mat. Now, you have them coming after you and pulling the oh-so-great victim card. “I’ve been having a rough week”, “I’m just really stressed,” followed by “You should understand that” or “You have to be more compassionate.” No, you shouldn’t. They just don’t want to face the music that they’re a shitty friend. If the victim card is pulled out every time you confront them about something, end it.
If any, or all, of these five things listed above reminded you of someone in your life, do yourself a favor and get rid of this toxic relationship. Friendships are mutual and reciprocated back between each other. Your sanity is worth a lot more than some person who can’t even return a text or stick to plans.