Her Campus Logo Her Campus Logo
/ Unsplash

15 Things ‘Friends’ Taught Us About Love & Relationships

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UNH chapter.

     The infamous show, ‘Friends’ stole the heart of millions and still does to this day. People of different ages, interests, and beliefs can all bond over the utter joy one feels when they are watching the six best friends that anyone ever had, Rachel, Monica, Phoebe, Ross, Chandler and Joey. The show had its fair share of ups and downs when it came to the love department. Whether you were team Ross and Rachel or Monica and Chandler’s love made your heart skip a beat…’Friends’ tugged at our heartstring with all the relationships the six of them were in through out the series. Here are 15 of the many things that ‘Friends’ taught us about relationships and love.

**Warning, if you are one of the few people out there who hasn’t watched Friends, there are spoilers!! **

1. Love can be silly


Monica and Chandler…what a couple, am I right? I think the best part about them is even though they could make you so angry at times and weren’t always the perfect couple, as no one ever is, they still always made you laugh. The pure silliness that their love could produce taught us viewers that love can be silly. It doesn’t have to always be intense and like the movies, it can be silly and pure. Being with someone who always is serious is going to exhaust you. ‘Friends’ power duo, Monica and Chandler definitely taught viewers that to last, and get through some pretty hard times… you got to be silly!  **Spoiler alert…this is the scene when Chandler dropped the L bomb on Monica for the first time!!** 

2. Love sucks…sometimes

Who didn’t love Phoebe and her songs? They are some of the most quotable parts of ‘Friends’ to date.  In one of Phoebe’s many catchy songs, “Your Love” she compares somebody’s love to “a giant pigeon…crapping on my heart.” Seriously, what sucks more than getting crapped on my a bird? In this song ‘Friends’ free spirit, Phoebe lets viewers know that, yes, love can really suck sometimes. It may not always turn out how you want it to and you have to take the good with the bad. ‘Friends’ showed us many times that love sucks sometimes but it happens to us all, even happy go lucky Phoebe Buffay.

3. Love’s hard


Ross and Rachel had so many hardships throughout the entire show. They were in love one day, they had a baby the next, then they hated each other, then they were in love again. Maybe not in that order exactly but either way, it was impossible to keep up with. While they ended up showing viewers that they were truly in love, they also showed that love’s hard. There’s no simple answer as to why love can be so hard sometimes, it just is. Ross and Rachel are a perfect example of a couple that really and truly cared for one another and worked really, really hard to make it work. They came out on top (**sorry spoiler again**) and it showed viewers everywhere that love can be hard work, but most of the time it’ll be worth it. 

4. Love can also be really simple


Love, while it can be really hard for some, love can also be really simple. It’s a brainless function that you don’t even have to think about – it just happens. For the ‘Friends’ power couple, Chandler and Monica, love was exactly that. While Monica and Chandler’s relationship was difficult at times, it still seemed to come so naturally to them. In the beginning Chandler and Monica struggled with how to go about being in a relationship and keeping it from their four other besties, but when it came down to it they were meant to be together. For some, like Chandler and Monica, love is just love. That’s it. The answer to why you put up with things, and go through tricky situations with another person is because you love them, plain and simple. 

** Warning: Cliché ahead**

5. Kiss her when she’s mad


Okay, guys take notes; kiss her when she’s mad! Ross was the king of kissing Rachel when she was pissed off. No matter what they were arguing about, there was nothing like Ross aggressively giving Rach a smooch and the look on their faces after was a mixture of pure anger and even purer love. If as a viewer you didn’t catch on to the fact that you should definitely kiss a girl when she’s angry, I’m giving you a friendly reminder: kiss her when she’s mad. I’ll even say it again: kiss her when she’s mad! It may not play off exactly like it did in ‘Friends’ because yes people, it was just a T.V. show. I’m just as sad about it as you are, I would love to hang with those six for a day! That’s beside the point, whether it’s on T.V. or in real life, kissing a girl when she’s mad is a technique every guy should try to incorporate into his technique of saying sorry.  There’s a good chance your girlfriend will forget about how pissed off she is for a moment.

6. She’s right…even when she’s wrong


Okay, let me just say I don’t necessary agree with “no uterus, no opinion” like Rachel is saying to Ross above. If you don’t have a uterus, you certainly can still have an opinion. Just throwing that out there. Now back to what ‘Friends’ taught us about love and relationships! A lot of times when a girlfriend and boyfriend get into an argument, she’s right…even when she’s wrong. What that means is some women, not all, when they are angry, like Rachel, become these fact disputing machines who brings up everything you ever did wrong (even if it doesn’t relate to the argument) and will hold all your said wrong doings against you. Do not try to fight back. She will shut you down as Rachel did here.


7.  Love is about loving somebody, imperfections and all


Monica, who is a crazy perfectionist most of the time, admits she doesn’t care if he’s the most perfect guy in the world. If she can accept somebodies imperfections, so can you. Love is about loving somebody, imperfections and all. You are not going to find a perfect person anywhere so stop looking for them. Every person you date will have some sort of imperfection and yes you will notice it. But hey guess what? You’re not perfect either. Love is about a balance and accepting someone for who they are. ‘Friends’ shows us time and time again that all relationships have their imperfections; it’s just about finding the person who is perfect for you despite their imperfections.


8. Goodbyes are really, really hard

You will have to say goodbye at some point in every relationship. Whether it’s for good, or just for the weekend it is inevitable. No matter the magnitude of the goodbye it is never going to be easy. Goodbyes are all hard in their own way. Rachel and Ross show that goodbyes are really, really hard when Rachel is leaving for Paris (**Spoiler again, so sorry for all you who haven’t seen it) and says her rounds of goodbyes to the six best friends – except Ross. While it may seem insensitive it is clear that Rachel loves Ross so much and saying goodbye is putting into words the fact she is leaving him – which is really, really hard. Point blank – goodbyes suck, no matter why you’re saying goodbye, and it’s important to keep that into consideration when you’re parting your ways from your significant other if it’s for good, or just for a weekend – it will be hard.


9. Everyone has that person they always go back to



Admit it, we all have that one person that holds a special place in our hearts. For Ross, it’s Rachel and it’s always going to be Rachel. ‘Friends’ proved that everyone has that person they always go back to. Some may go back for good, while others may just go back for a little while but either way you have that one person who will always be in your heart – and that’s okay. Breaking up or going on a break doesn’t mean you are done for good, or that you love someone any less. Sometimes, you need to love someone enough to let him or her go. If it’s meant to be, it’ll be.

10. Sometimes, the most loving thing you can do for a person is give them a hug

There’s nothing quite like feeling the arms of someone you love around you, as cheesy as that sounds. I mean let’s face it, love can be really, really cheesy at times. But think about it – whether it’s a hug because something awesome just happened or a hug because your world is crashing down – hugs rock. Knowing someone cares for you and will hold you when you need to be held or congratulate you when you deserve it is a great, great feeling. Ross and Rachel, along with the whole ‘Friends’ gang are constantly giving each other that love and reassurance and showing that sometimes, the most loving thing you can do for a person is give them a hug.


11. And sometimes, a kiss is the most loving thing you can give someone



While you shouldn’t go around kissing everyone, kissing the right person can be one of the most intimate exchange of feelings you and another person can share.  Of course there are hookups and other less loving kisses shared all the time, but with the right person and the right time – like here, with Ross and Rachel – a kiss can really show someone how much you care about them…sometimes, it’s the most loving thing you can give someone. There are just some instances when words aren’t enough.


12. Sometimes silence is enough

Relationships are going to be full of conversations you may or may not want to have. Either way, plain and simple: if you don’t have something nice to say, don’t say it all. Sometimes when talking to your significant other, you will think what you are going to say to them needs to be said. However, if it will at all offend them in anyway, or if you wouldn’t want someone to say that to you…don’t say it. ‘Friends’ taught us that even though sometimes the words someone you are in a relationship say to you can make your day, they also have a way of ruining your day too. Remember that. Chances are if you have to think if it’s a good idea to say or not, silence is enough.

13.  You can never say I love you enough


Unless you haven’t been doing for a while or aren’t actually dating, you can never say I love you enough. This goes for all sorts of relationships – boyfriend, girlfriend, best friend, family, etc. Saying I love you to a person whenever you leave, or when you feel it is so important because you never know what’s going to happen. Reminding someone that you love him or her is a great way to make them smile or brighten up their day. The cast of ‘Friends’ was prime examples of loving someone the right way. They were always there for each other, whether it was Monica and Chandler, Ross and Rachel, or the whole gang. Time in and time out, the six of them were always reminding the others they loved them.

14.  People we love the most, can also hurt us the most

Ross being unfaithful to Rachel was an example of just how someone who loves you more than they seem to even love themselves, can also hurt you worse then you ever thought possible. Sometimes, you can move on from that point and work toward having a really awesome relationship full of love and trust from then on out, and other times things will just never be the same. People change, and so do relationships. However the possibility of being over for good shouldn’t keep you from admitting to your wrong doings and trying to fix them. Admitting you messed up is a part of loving someone and having respect for them – taking ownership of your mistakes and fighting for forgiveness no matter the outcome proves you love someone.                                                                                                        

15. Hey. How you ‘doin?


Always remember to ask your significant other, “Hey. How you doing?” Yah, this one is pretty obvious but it can’t be an article on ‘Friends’ without displaying Joey’s catchphrase, can it? But seriously Joey had it all figured out. Always remember to ask someone how they are doing, it shows you care!



     Sure ‘Friends’ can be looked at a million different ways and a million different people have a million different opinions on the show. But, one thing we can all agree on I think is that it showed us some really great examples of love and relationships and taught us a few things. So if you take nothing from this article just remember to always ask, how you doin’?  

Amanda received her Bachelor of Arts in Communication from the University of New Hampshire in May of 2016. During her time at the University of New Hampshire, Amanda was a member of UNH's Her Campus team serving as a Contributing Writer, Co-Social Media Manager and Co-Campus Corespondent. In addition, she was also a Chapter Advisor for five HC Chapters. It was through her internships with WGBH&PBS, SheSpeaks, Inc. and the UNH Social Media Department that Amanda realized she wanted to pursue a career in Digital Marketing and Social Media with a focus in the publishing and media industry. In her free time, Amanda likes anything involving food, hanging out by any body of water, and spending time with her amazing friends and family. Follow her on Instagram @barba_amanda
This is the general account for the University of New Hampshire chapter of Her Campus! HCXO!