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10 conversations you overhear at UNH

  1. The one where everyone wants to know who’s throwin’ down

We’ve all done it. You ask your friend where the party’s at, and unless they know the inside scoop, the following comment is most likely, “Yak about it.” Yanno, those Yaks that get -3 downs and no replies, except for the occasional “your mom” comments. Because, really, we’re all just second graders with a whole ton of debt. Oh wait. Times one-hundred.

2. The one where you seriously consider applying for a therapy dog (or cat, for all you Taylor Swifts out there)

We’ve all had that semi serious conversation with basically anyone who would listen about scheduling an appointment with a therapy dog. Honestly, let’s face it, college is hard. People are moody and animals are cute.

3.  The one where you weigh the pros and cons of skipping class with your roomie. Because honestly, it usually happens ten minutes before you have to leave and you’re still in bed. But, you know, sleep. And all five pairs of your leggings are dirty, and you miss your dog, aaaand you didn’t shower, and you ate your last granola bar last night, so what’s even the point, right?

 

4. The one where your roommate’s “special friend” stays over for “a night”

And here it comes. The, “Brad’s staying the night tonight,” (or like, TEN) and sometime there’s the “is that okay?” but who’s going to say “no, I’d prefer not to endure that trauma tonight”? And usually I’d suggest the approach of fake snoring so badly Brad has to leave, but not everyone is willing to go to that level. So then you’re left with the look whenever you trespass in YOUR OWN room.

5. The one where the only place you can cry is the shower

Like when you’re missing your dog and there’s a line of snot running down your face, but your roommate can’t seem to evacuate the room for 5 minutes? Sometimes you just need a hysterical sob-fest masked by the sounds of water hitting your gross-ass shower shoes.

6. The one where Hoco isn’t serving everyone’s favorite “cheesy bread”

You and your friends get through the finger scanner and see it, or the lack there of, “cheesy bread.” Everyone sighs, and tries to pull it together. You guys exchange words of disappointment and move on towards the froyo. Go hard or go home.

 

7. That awkward conversation with the random dude who’s taking your laundry out of the machine.

He’s like “oh sorry, is this yours?” As he holds up your bra. Like dude, seriously? Get your mitts off my thong, bro. And while you’re at it, perhaps we could just forget this moment altogether. Thanks. BOUNDARIES.

8. The one where you contemplate with your roomie about going to latenight for the fourth time this week.

But it’s okay, right? Because it’s not like you’re going every night this week. Latenight isn’t even an option on Thursdays (thanks to all you party animals out there.) So really, at least there’s that one hope where you won’t eat your feelings. But like, vending machines.

9. The one where apparently nobody’s mother taught them how to flush

We’ve all had that moment. The one where you’re on the search for a stall, and you mutter under your breath, “Oh boy,” “Mmm, better not” and “What even is that?” to the person who is also partaking the in same endeavor. I mean, humans are biologically capable of jiggling that little silver lever, I think. Or maybe I just have a special talent and THAT’S why my Mom always told me I was special?? Everything makes sense now!

 

10. The one where, no matter how much it pisses you off, college is your home

You’re about to leave for the summer and while you’re so excited to be done with the endless amounts of homework and studying, it hits you that you’re saying goodbye to some of your closest BFFS. The one’s who have seen you through your worst… the eye twitches and the senile behavior at 2:00 a.m. in the library. The squad exchanges, “I’ll miss yous” and “I’ll see you soons” with teary filled eyes and you come to realize UNH really has become your home!

 
 
 
 
 

 

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