Growing up, I was always nervous. Nervous about going to school, nervous about meeting new people, nervous about driving to the grocery store. The thing is, though, I always believed that was normal; that life was like that for everyone. However, when I started high school, things started to change. I was diagnosed with Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD), and I began to notice the anxiety in my life more and more. If I had to drive somewhere I’d never been? Terrifying. When I had to find a parking spot in a crowded area? Unthinkable. And when I had to speak in front of my class? Well, don’t even get me started on that. Eventually, though, despite the doubts and worries that constantly plagued my mind, I made it through high school.
Then came college. In addition to the everyday freshman concerns most experience, such as finding your classes or dealing with the not-so-quiet neighbors down the hall, I was dealing with an overwhelming sense of anxiety that had colored my every decision since I was a child. Well, it’s been two years since I began my life at UNCW, and I’ve learned some things about myself. Don’t worry, I’m not going to throw some clichés at you about “finding myself” or “figuring out who I really am.” I am, however, going to show you what I’ve learned from having an anxiety disorder in college.
1. Not everyone is going to understand, and that’s ok.
In a perfect world, there would be a universal understanding of mental illness and we could all get together and talk about our problems in a judgement-free zone. But life just isn’t like that. I’ve come into contact with people who completely understand what it’s like to have anxiety, and those who I’m convinced have never once experienced the feeling (we all know those people). But one thing I’ve learned in college is that, while many people can’t comprehend what it’s like to deal with daily anxiety, most are willing to try. Speaking from personal experience, it can be easy to refuse to talk about it with anyone because you’ve been shut down so many times. In college, however, I’ve met so many people who not only understand what I’m going through, but can empathize with me. When facing judgement or impatience from someone who doesn’t understand, it’s important to keep in mind that there are so many others out there who can offer support.
2. It’s ok to ask for help.
Speaking of support, perhaps the most important thing I’ve learned during college is that everyone needs help from time to time. It can be especially intimidating when you’re in an unfamiliar environment or when you feel like no one is willing to help, but it is essential to find a support system. Before college, I was terrified to share what I was going through because I felt like no one would care (Probable? No. Terrifying? Yes.) When I first started talking about my anxiety, however, help was offered in ways that made me feel not only supported, but also accepted. Whether it’s talking to your friends, family or a counselor, building a support system can lift an immense weight off of your shoulders.
3. Anxiety can’t be cured, but it can be managed.
When I began attending counseling sessions in high school, I had some unrealistic expectations. Have you ever eaten a salad and then immediately looked in the mirror to see if you had lost 10 pounds? Well, that was my approach to therapy. I was anxiously (get it?) awaiting the day when I would return home from talking to my counselor and be anxiety-free. But guess what? That never happened. After years of hoping for some quick fix or medication to eliminate my anxiety, I finally realized that it’s something I’ll have to deal with for the rest of my life. Depressing, right? Not quite. Realizing that I can never achieve an anxiety-free life has taken a considerable amount of pressure off of me. It is far more comforting knowing that, while I’ll always be more prone to anxiety than others, all I can do is try my best.
While I still deal with anxiety on a daily basis, these truths have helped me navigate my way through college. Of course, everyone has different ways of coping with anxiety, and I’m sure I could learn a lot more from others who have gone through the same experiences as I have. Recognizing the need for support and understanding in my life has been a big step towards managing my anxiety, and hopefully it’s the same for others.
[Photos courtesy of Google Images]