If you’re like me and are still looking for “the one,” keep your head up and remember these key ideas.
1. Nothing is wrong with you.
There’s a common misconception among girls (and guys) when they’re single, especially if they’ve been single their whole lives. It’s the belief that something must be seriously wrong with who they are. “Does my personality suck?” or “Am I not attractive enough?” are questions singletons sometimes ask themselves. Let’s not forget the the classic, “I bet I’m single because [insert false criticism of self here].” None of that is actually true. In fact, you’re great as you are. You shouldn’t have to change who you are to find love in the first place. Someone will come along who accepts everything about you (even your flaws) without question. And if they don’t, that’s on them, not you.
2. You’ve got plenty of time.
Sometimes we forget how young we really are. Most college students are anywhere between seventeen and twenty-three years old. Sure, high school sweethearts and getting married right out of high school or college was the norm half a century ago, but these days, people don’t really begin “settling down” until later on. According to The Atlantic, the average age of marriage among of women is twenty-seven, up four years from twenty-three in 1990. Men are in a similar boat, with the average age of marriage around twenty-nine, up three years from twenty-six in in the 90s. With so many years between college and this new “average,” there’s plenty of time to find Mr. or Mrs. Right. Not to mention, The Atlantic also makes an interesting point: “Women who marry later make more money per year than women who marry young. The average annual personal income for college-educated women in their mid-30s who married after age 30 is $50,415, compared with $32,263 for college-educated women of the same age who married before age 20–a 56 percent difference.” If you can’t have love early on, at least there is the (somewhat) promise of a healthy income.
3. You’re most likely making something great of yourself.
Going off of that income statistic, as college students our primary goal is to graduate and make a difference in the world while we work toward our degrees. There is also a tremendous amount of growth that occurs during this time period, especially if you’re a freshman or sophomore. It’s extremely possible that you haven’t discovered your true interests yet. You might not even understand who you are or who you want to be. Why stunt this growth with the stress of maintaining a relationship?
4. Relationships aren’t always what they’re cracked up to be, anyway.
Sure, it would be nice to have someone to hold hands with on those long walks to class in the morning or someone to take you out on the weekends, but honestly with club meetings, classes, homework, volunteering, and part-time jobs, who has time for that right now? Plus, with everyone still rapidly growing and changing and adopting new interests, relationships don’t always last as long as expected in college. That means heartbreak and giant, unnecessary blows to self-esteem. The benefits just don’t seem to outweigh the negatives at this stage.
Photo courtesy of Pixabay.com.