We were told all throughout middle school that boys are mean to us because they have crushes on us. In high school it’s because they were just too immature. Now that I’m at college and running into the same idiots, I’m starting to wonder if men ever grow up from the middle school phase. Now we’re at the point where they’re mean because they’re “just doing their own thing,” and “keeping things casual,” while stringing you along and confusing the heck out of you in the process. Watching friends get hurt and having been screwed over myself already in the short amount of time I’ve been at school, I’ve figured out 10 perfect steps the typical girl uses to get over the guy that has made you reevaluate all the rom-coms you’ve ever seen and all the happy endings you’ve heard about. When you start losing respect for yourself in a relationship, and feeling like you’re not getting nearly close to what you deserve, that’s when it’s time to cut the cord, and start getting over him!
1) The sulking period. I would suggest no longer than three days. This sulking period is a very low point, where you can feel as bad for yourself as you want. In this sulking period, you not only think about the stupid boy that made you cry, but all the other stupid boys in the world who have made you cry or made your friend cry, or your friends friend cry, and then you cry some more because boys are mean.
2) During this period of time, you make a quick public appearance at the local grocery store. This is a very very quick trip involving your sweats, a baggy t-shirt and a baseball hat to conceal the puffy eyes. You deserve to look as bad as you feel right? You buy yourself some tissues, some ice cream and a big bag of something greasy, then hit up the movie section. Now you really have to evaluate how bad you’re feeling to get the ultimate movie. The Notebook? Eh, been there done that. He’s Just Not That Into You? Always a nice fall back.
3) Once you have your gear in check, you’re all ready to get back to your moping. You pop in your movie and start really relating to Gigi, the obsessive, hopeless romantic who just doesn’t get the hint that he’s really just not that into her. You start to realize wow, maybe this was my fault, maybe I was the problem in this relationship. Maybe he just wasn’t that into me. Maybe I’m just like Gigi and was too edger to fall for someone, maybe my expectations were too high and unrealistic, yep this was definitely my fault.
4) You can contemplate texting him and see what he’s doing, and play scenarios in your head of him begging for you back and apologizing for treating you bad but then you realize…
5) HAHA nope that would be embarrassing… I need to put my phone away.
6) Once your movies over, its time to start a new Netflix series (Scandal and Gossip Girl are prime in situations like this). But only for the next three days of course.
7) You start to realize your girlfriends were right, they’re always right. Then you start to regret not listening to them and feel really, really stupid when you realize that this could have all been avoided and your diet/ workout plan could of still be going strong, instead you haven’t moved in three days and are surrounded by the entire content from the chip isle.
8) You call your best friend and cry to her for a bit, and invite her over for a movie night because it’s probably time for you to start being social again.
9) She brings over a bottle of wine and listens to you cry. She plays with your hair and tell you how you’re just way too pretty for him anyway, he’s going to regret it, it’s not over, just wait he’s going to call you any second, this is a blessing in disguise, there’s someone out there for you who is going to make you so much happier, etc.
10) This is when you realize that your girlfriends are actually angels and start seeing the little halo they have over their heads. Once you’ve reached the end of day three, you’re still not okay, but you’re getting there.
Breakups suck; there’s no way to avoid how bad you’re going to feel after one. You have to be kind to yourself and pride yourself on the fact that you were brave enough to put yourself out there enough to feel broken inside. Leaning on permanent people is the only way you’re going to get out of this funk. Unfortunately this is a cycle; being broken and having to put yourself back together. The bravest thing you can do is to continue this cycle, don’t close yourself off. Give yourself time, get back on the horse and get back out there. As women we tend to be so hard on ourselves and forget our value, and look to men to give it to us, as much as we hate to admit it. (This is generally speaking, to the independent ladies out there; props to you!) The “college guys” come and go. I’ve realized the people you have to focus on are your friends. Your friends are the ones who are going to take you to dinner every once in a while and step out of the room to hear you rant about your day, even when the Bachelor’s on. Being able to wake up and have an abundance of respect for yourself is a priceless feeling that even “the college guy” shouldn’t be able to take away from you. If you find yourself in “the college guy” situation and want some advice, mine would probably be to run, and run fast.