Wicked: For Good just released in theaters, and before you ask — no, I couldn’t be happier. Though I’m not the biggest fan of the Broadway musical, I adored Wicked: Part One so much that I came down with a serious case of Wicked fever. Now that I’ve seen For Good twice, I’m happy to report that I won’t be recovering anytime soon.
So, to celebrate the release of For Good, I’ve made an extremely unserious list to assign you a Wicked character based on your dorm building at UNCO. Ever wondered where Elphaba, Galinda, and the rest would live if they, for some reason, studied sorcery at Northern Colorado? Look no further!
- Glinda: North Hall
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Ariana Grande as Glinda the Good in ‘Wicked: For Good’ This one is an obvious choice: Glinda is the Witch of the North, and North Hall is UNCO’s largest and most popular dorm. But as a Gelphie truther, I feel obligated to mention that North Hall is also home to UNCO’s Queer Living Community, where residents across the gender and sexuality spectrums can come together.
That probably would’ve helped Galinda figure out what all those feelings were about.
- The Wizard: Lawrenson Hall
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As UNCO’s tallest building and the dorm in the center of West Campus, there’s no better place to represent the Wonderful Wizard of Oz than Lawrenson Hall. I lived in Lawrenson during my sophomore year, and though I didn’t hate it, I think Lawrenson’s tall, pretty exterior is a good mask for its relatively OK interior, which is not unlike the Wizard’s own wonderful tricks.
And, if you’ll let me grasp a little at straws, Lawrenson is home to UNCO’s Transfer Student Housing, and the Wizard is something of a transfer — at least, from Omaha to Oz.
- Fiyero: Presidents Row
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Presidents Row includes Bond, Brown, Dickeson, and Luján, all those beautiful, cozy-looking, English-Tudor style buildings that give Central Campus its historic charm.
Fiyero, given that he owns (at minimum) two castles, is no stranger to charm nor to historic buildings; any dorm on Presidents Row would be a perfect place for a prince from Winkie Country.
- Madame Morrible: South Hall
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North Hall’s sister dorm, South Hall, is known around campus as the nicest of UNCO’s dorms. If you’ve ever lived on West Campus, you’re probably well-acquainted with the South Hall front desk, which handles all packages and mail for residents in North, South, and Lawrenson.
In For Good, Morrible serves as the Wizard’s Press Secretary, making South Hall her home.
- Boq: Harrison Hall
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My reasoning for assigning Boq to Harrison is a little simple, and a little sad; Harrison is perhaps best known for having no air conditioning, something that only wouldn’t bother you if you were made of tin.
- Nessa: Turner Hall
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You might be wondering why I assigned Nessa to Turner Hall instead of one of the more house-shaped dorms on campus like Belford or Gordon. The truth is, I don’t have a reason, but Turner needed someone, and Nessa was all I had left. However, Turner is closest to Harrison, and if Boq must be Harrison, then surely Nessa would want to stay close to him…
They can’t all fit perfectly, OK?
- Dr. Dillamond: Wiebking Hall & the Mesa Neighborhood
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This is not Wiebking shade — I spent a whole year living there my freshman year, and just as Wiebking will always have a special place in my heart, so will Dr. Dillamond.
So, as a favor to the Mesa Neighborhood, I’m bestowing Dr. Dillamond onto its residents. If you live in Belford, Decker, Gordon, Hansen-Willis, Sabin, Wiebking, or Snyder, then Dr. Dillamond is for you.
- Elphaba: Arlington Park Apartments
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As far as UNCO dorms go, Arlington is the closest you can get to truly independent apartment-style living. Until she found a true friend in Galinda, Elphaba grew up having to figure things out on her own. And ever since Defying Gravity, Elphaba has lived life on her own terms, which makes Arlington a perfect fit for her way of life — just without as much foliage to blend into.