Do you find yourself saying “yes” to every favor that is asked of you? Do you often take on the problems of others without being asked? Do you ever experience an overwhelming fear of letting others down, even if they have expressed just how helpful you have been? If you answered yes to any of these questions you might be placing unrealistic expectations on yourself that can lead to increasing amounts of stress and worry.
From a very young age, I have held myself not only to a high standard, but often even a standard of perfection, which we all know is impossible to achieve. Most of the time I have not adequately given myself the room to fail and then grow from those instances of failure. In some cases, there were others holding me accountable for my actions, real people that I was afraid to disappoint, but many times I was only trying to live up to expectations that I had set for myself, consequently letting myself down.
When we punish ourselves for each failure, we stifle our ability to grow, learn and change. By telling ourselves that it is okay and normal to make mistakes, we keep ourselves open to new learning opportunities and grounded in the present rather than constantly looking ahead to the future with fear. It is still important and wise to set goals, giving yourself something to strive for and encouraging traceable growth, but it is okay to let these goals change over time as you figure out what is practically within your capabilities.
When you begin to feel your mind racing with worry over all of the tasks you have left to complete or your heart starts to pound because you feel you have let someone down, here are some things to remind yourself:
You are human and it is normal to make mistakes.
Each failure just provides another opportunity for growth and development.
It is okay to say no when you are asked to take on too much responsibility.
It is also okay to ask for help when you feel overwhelmed.
I hope these tips can help with self-assessment and understanding your abilities to prevent stress and worry from becoming unmanageable. Don’t be afraid to let yourself fail!