Where did you two study abroad?
Malta, University of Malta
Why did you choose to travel there?
Jesse: The primary reason for going to Malta was that they had classes available to exchange students in both of majors. At the same time, I had always wanted to live in the Mediterranean (preferably Italy), but also wanted to go somewhere unique (a.k.a. somewhere none of my three brothers had gone to). I decided Malta would be perfect because I was close to Italy, specifically Sicily, where my mother and father lived for many years and I wanted to visit it. Another perk was the weather and it’s close proximity to Africa and Europe.
Eliza: The main reason I chose Malta was that I was told they had classes that I could take that would transfer for both of my majors. Being in the middle of the Mediterranean also had its perks. I had dreams of a warm climate, beaches, and delicious food. Being that close to the mainland meant that I could still travel throughout Europe and maybe even visit Africa, somewhere I’ve always wanted to go. I had also been to Italy on Pilgrimage in high school and very much wanted to go again. Going to Malta also meant that I was most likely going to have a unique experience compared to people that go to more well known areas, because majority of people have never heard of Malta.
What was it like to travel with one of your best friend? Did it make things easier?
Jesse: Some aspects of life were much easier when it came to traveling with a friend. You already have a friend when you arrive, so orientation and general socialization doesn’t seem as stressful. You also have someone who is sharing the same experiences as you while having a similar background. Also, you find compatible strong suits within each other. Eliza is definitely more confrontational than me, but I tend to be much more patient. Sometimes my patience would pay off, other times her confrontations would pay off. You learn how to balance situations between the abilities you both have to offer.
Eliza: Several aspects were much easier. It definitely made study abroad less intimidating. Traveling with a friend definitely erases some of the fear and stress you have when traveling, going through orientation, and getting situated when you arrive. Having a friend makes you feel more comfortable, relaxed, and sometimes less homesick because you aren’t a thousand a miles away from everyone you’ve ever known. Knowing that someone is also probably feeling the same way you are and will have the same experiences also makes things a bit easier. Living arrangements also get a bit easier as well, instead you don’t have to live with complete strangers. It also meant you had a travel buddy.
What was the hardest part about studying abroad together?
Jesse: When you travel with a friend, you naturally become dependent on them, which can be helpful at some points and a bit of a hindrance at others. When it came to making friends on Malta, Eliza and I struggled for a variety of reasons. One reason was that we did not feel an overarching pressure to make friends quickly. This resulted in us seeming far more reliant on each other and this consequently made us seem unwanting of outside friendships.
Eliza: I agree with Jesse that when traveling you definitely become more dependent on them. To some degree this was goold, on the other hand having a friend makes you a little less likely to put yourself out there to make new friends. Like Jesse said this turned into us looking like we didn’t want other friends and that we were very exclusive.
How has your relationship changed since your study abroad semester?
Jesse: When we read this question, both Eliza and I asked each other the same question: “Do you think we changed?”. I feel like we both know–deep down–that we have certainly changed and so has our relationship, but it doesn’t really feel that way. The odd thing about study abroad, or at least for me, is that it never really feels like it happened until a good bit of time has passed. My ability to be introspective on the changes that occurred in my relationship to others since that time period is kind of hard to access. I will say is that we share a bit of solidarity in our unique feelings about Malta. Not many people had the same experience as us on Malta, but we do know that there is at least one other person out there that has the same muddled feelings about that little island. We both look back at Malta with a warm smile, but also with a hint of sadness.
If you could do it again, what would you change about your semester abroad?
Jesse: I would certainly do more. It all seems simple prior to departure. You believe that you will wildly take every opportunity handed you with no doubt or second thoughts. However, this is surely not going to be the case for the majority of people. When you plan on living somewhere for five months, you quickly start saying “I’ll do it some other time”, or “I have plenty of time to accomplish so-and-so”. That is a lie. In the end, you’ll have two weeks left abroad, a couple exams to take, and a whole list of events and spots you wanted to visit, but haven’t yet. If I could go back in time, I would continuously push myself out the door and into Malta’s culture. Both Eliza and I left the island feeling guilty that we had not gone to several places we swore we would visit, both off and on Malta. We let classes and economics hold us back when we really should have taken this once in a lifetime chance to its full value. At the same time, I would also coach myself to leave the guilt behind. While on Malta, both Eliza and I experienced a variety of negative responses to our racial/ethnic presence and to our (how should I say it?)non-European party habits. This deterred us from gladly engaging in some parts of Maltese culture or enjoy exchange student activites.
Eliza: Like Jesse I would definitely not pass on another opportunity to study abroad. When you’re there, especially for such a long period of time, you always think you have time do the things you want to do. This resulted in Jesse and I not traveling as much as we would’ve liked or not seeing parts of the island that we never got to. We both also let our classes and financial situations hold us back from taking advantage of being abroad and doing more of the things that we wish we had. When we left we both felt very guilty that we didn’t make the most of our experience in Malta. Looking back now, I do have regrets but mostly I wouldn’t really change anything. We both had fun, met fun people, traveled, had a unique experience, and made the best of what we had. Like Jesse said, while there we both had negative experiences in Malta and a bit while traveling, that also discouraged us from doing many things especially immersing ourselves in the culture and interacting with other exchange students. While these experiences were bad I still would not necessarily change them because I did grow and learn more about myself from going through them. While it may not have been an ideal study abroad experience I still look back (at the good parts) with fondness.
Do you have any advice for Spartans who are planning to study abroad with friends? What are the do’s and don’ts?
Jesse: Make sure you know the person you’re going to study abroad with. Very well. If I hadn’t already lived with Eliza for a year, spending the majority of my time a foot away from my friend in a dorm room could have easily been horrible. So, it is important to be fairly familiar of what life is like living with this person, or spending a lot of time near this one person. Know the other’s plans for study abroad and what they plan to get out of it. It is important to know where you align with this person and where you do not run parallel to one another. Some of these things can be really simple. Such as the fact that I regularly take walks and continued this trend in Malta, which is something Eliza rarely did. This allowed me to know the area around our dorm and have a outlet to be by myself, as I am someone who definitely craves and requires alone time. My walking habits were also open to Eliza if she wanted to join, and when she did, we had fun! But she also seemed to respect my need for privacy in those moments, knowing that constantly being around people wears me out. Like I said before, some of these opposite personality traits, or ideas, can be beneficial.
Eliza: It is very important to know who you are going with and be familiar with them not only as a friend, but as a roommate, possible party buddy, and travel buddy. If I had not lived with Jesse for a year and half already, being confined to a tiny room would not have been as easy. If you can, try to spend time with them away from school. Maybe go on a small trip. Traveling is extremely stressful and even more so when things go wrong, which they will, that’s why it is good to know how they might react in stressful situations. The last thing you want is for something to go wrong causing unwanted tension, leading to a riff in the friendship or an argument. Fortunately, this did not happen to us but being in a tense situation is never fun for anyone. It is also good to know what the other person’s plans and goals are for their study abroad experience.