I’ve always been a huge advocate for self-care, but I’ve slowly come to the realization that it is not always pretty. Sometimes, it is the ugliest thing that I have to do. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for putting on a face mask, taking a nice candle-lit bath and getting a manicure. However, what’s the point of it all if, at the end of the day, the circumstances that have caused me stress haven’t been tackled?
For me, self-care is all about putting in hard work. Often times, it’s the gut-wrenching, exhausting work that forces me to deal with my problems. Time and time again, self-care has taught me that it is all about making a choice to build a life that I don’t need to constantly escape from—and that often takes doing the thing I least want to do in order for my mind and body to function to its fullest extent.
There are a variety of ways to approach the concept of taking care of one’s self, especially since the interpretation can vary from person to person. Regardless, it is important for me to mention what self-care looks like for me personally.
Self-care can be:
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sweating through another workout or incorporating veggies into my meals
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getting a second job to save more money
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staying home on a weekend while my friends go out, so I can study
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going to bed early the night before a test
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telling a toxic friend that I no longer want them in my life
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being aware of my personal boundaries, thereby granting me the power to choose who and what I let into my life
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choosing to have difficult conversations and recognizing my top priorities, as well as being honest with myself about what I am doing consistently on a daily basis
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learning how to say “no”
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listening to my intuition in order to do what feels right for me
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challenging my negative thoughts and treating myself with love and compassion
But most importantly, self-care is all about balance. We often get it confused with self-indulgence, which is characterized by avoiding our problems and settling for quick and easy antidotes. We tell ourselves that the stresses of the day have drained our energy and that chilling on the sofa with a quart of ice cream or a bottle of wine is all we can expect of ourselves. As great as those things are, and we need those lazy days sometimes, you cannot make a habit out of it. At the end of the day, you have to be willing to balance stress and fun with health and necessity.