Love, whether that is self-love, platonic love or romantic love, is a complex notion. However, knowing one’s love language allows us to be better able to express love. Love languages are defined as the way one expresses and receives love. There are a total of five love languages and if you identify with one or more of them, it is probably the love language you are most fluent in. You can also take the quiz here to find out your most fluent love language. If you’ve already done the quiz, here is a break down of the five love languages, which explains what each language encompasses.
- Words of Affirmation
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If you are a person who loves receiving long texts about how much you mean to someone, this is your love language. You also love texting the people you love randomly with texts such as “I love you” and “you mean so much to me”. As for showing this love language to yourself, you are a big believer in talking to yourself positively and filling your mind with words of affirmation.
- Acts of Service
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This love language does not mean that you have to be submissive to someone, but rather it means expressing your love by doing a small task for them. Some examples include cleaning the house and running errands for them. By doing these tasks, you are showing them that you are playing an active role in their life by helping them out whenever you can. Making your bed in the morning so that you can come home to a clean bed and doing the dishes everyday instead of waiting for the stack to pile up are some ways you can show this love language to yourself.
- Receiving Gifts
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The love and effort that went behind purchasing the gift is what makes this love language mean a lot to you. Instead of viewing the gift in a materialistic way, you view it as a gesture of love and affection. These gifts can be as small as buying flowers to make someone’s day or buying someone a cup of coffee because you know they didn’t get much sleep last night. With respect to self-love, you can show this love language to yourself by buying a bath bomb to treat yourself to a bath after a long day of classes or by buying your favorite chocolate to reward yourself after you’ve completed a paper.
- Quality Time
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Giving someone your undivided attention is the way to express this love language. Sounds pretty simple, right? However, it is safe to say that not all of us express this love language easily as we’re always on our phones. Put that phone away and live in the moment. Love languages aside, it is common courtesy to be present in the moment when you are with someone. Respect the fact that despite being busy, they are taking time out of their busy schedule to be with you. Quality Time is also an important love language to show yourself. This can be done by setting a specific amount of time, such as 10 minutes, for yourself to self-reflect and recharge.
- Physical Touch
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A person with this love language is very touchy. Actions such as hugs, massages, kisses and holding hands can mean a lot to them because it shows emotions such as excitement, care and love. They interpret a simple touch as you communicating how much you love them. There are some people who are uncomfortable with being touched, whether that is due to abusive past relationships or simply because it makes them squirm. Therefore, if this is your love language, do not mistake their lack of physical touch as disinterest. Physical touch just isn’t as important to them. As for showing this love language to yourself, you can have a spa day to show some love to your body.
Love languages are simple to learn and having a good knowledge of them will completely change the way you give and receive love. Despite having only one or two love languages that you are fluent in, you should work on all five of them so that you will be able to express love fluently, whether it is to yourself or to others. We all deserve to be loved.