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What “Love is Blind” Has Taught Me About Dating

It seemed like everywhere I went online, I kept hearing about the Netflix original series “Love is Blind.” I got sick of hearing about it and wanted to see what the hype was all about. After just a few minutes into the show, I quickly became obsessed. For those of you who are unfamiliar with the plot of “Love is Blind,” it is a love experiment to determine whether two people can fall in love based on only an emotional connection. The show requires participants to go on several speed dates with various people, but the catch is that they can’t see who they’re talking to. Each person eventually narrows down their list of potential partners. Participants continue to have longer dates with fewer people until they decide who they are going to propose to. Contestants are able to choose how long they date in the pods before getting engaged. After the proposal, they are allowed to see each other for the first time. 

I was surprisingly moved by this show. I found myself thinking about my own dating experiences. I saw reflections of my past relationships in some of the couples on the show and other couples who had a love I would like to have one day. Here are a few dating lessons I have learned from “Love is Blind” (I will try to keep it spoiler-free).

If It’s Not a 100% Yes, It’s a No

This point was originally a tweet I made while I was watching the last few episodes of the show, but I think it’s an important lesson to expand on. I noticed that many of the couples on “Love is Blind” seemed unsure of their feelings for each other even on their wedding day. On paper, their partner checked off all the boxes, but something wasn’t right. Some of the contestants were not physically attracted to each other or they were in different places in life. These variables can make a relationship difficult to stay in. One of my favorite Youtubers, Shallon Lester, has frequently said in her videos that “the psyche wants to be heard.” The psyche will make itself known the “easy way or the hard way.” If you know deep within yourself that the person you’re dating isn’t right for you, even if it’s hard to admit, you need to let them go as soon as you can. It’s not fair to either person involved to continue with the relationship if you are living in a state of cognitive dissonance.

Set High Standards for Yourself

Without giving too much away, one of the contestants on the show did not see his worth. He stayed with a woman who did not love him and he was so blinded by his love for her (pun intended) that he didn’t see that she did not feel the same way. If your crush or significant other only expresses occasional interest in you, they do not value you or your time. Or if your love interest is actually into someone else more than you but still sort of likes you, respect yourself and leave the relationship. In the words of Marina and the Diamonds in the song “Starring Role”, “It almost feels like a joke to play out the part/When you are not the starring role in someone else’s heart.” You should never be someone’s second choice when they can’t get their first pick.

Question Your Type

The type of person I’m attracted to has changed over time. Dating has allowed me to learn about what traits I find attractive in a partner and what traits or qualities I don’t. I have also been thinking about the type of people I find physically attractive. If you feel a spark with someone, lean into it. Ask yourself why you’re attracted to them. Be open-minded when getting to know new people. However, as I mentioned earlier, if a spark isn’t there, don’t try to force a connection. On the other hand, sometimes we can find toxic people attractive because they represent a sense of familiarity. Get to the root of why you may date or be attracted to the same types of people and if your attraction to these types of people is healthy.

After watching the show, I’m not sure if I believe love is blind. I can see both sides of the argument, but I think having a long-lasting relationship requires more than just an emotional connection. I think physical attraction, communication and similar life goals all play a role in whether a relationship is going to last. If you haven’t watched “Love is Blind,” I highly recommend you check it out if you like reality TV, social experiments or watching people fall (or attempt to) in love . Happy binge-watching, collegiates!

Kara is a senior studying English with an emphasis in Creative Writing and minoring in Communication Studies at UMKC. Aside from writing for UMKC’s chapter of Her Campus, she is the Vice President of Sigma Tau Delta-Nu Theta. In her free time, she can be found exploring Kansas City with her friends or cozying up with a good book.
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