Society loves gendering. Whether it’s colors, clothing or random hobbies, it seems like nothing can escape from it. Even movie genres and simple pastime activities are subject to gendering. For those of us who have interests that don’t fit the societal norm, we get insulted, diminished, judged, and even bullied. For the individuals who can’t identify with either male or female, they feel effectively excluded in society due to the constant reinforcement of gender binary. All of this can be painful to experience. Not only do we need to stop judging others, but we also need to stop abiding by the categorizations of femininity and masculinity that are in place. Otherwise, many will continue to be ridiculed and made to feel like there’s something wrong with them when in reality, the only thing that’s wrong is gendering everything.
When I was younger, I didn’t understand the concept of gendering. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out why boys were allowed to do things girls weren’t, like lounging around in the glistening summer heat with no shirt on. Similarly, it was frustrating when none of the neighborhood boys wanted to play Barbies with me because they insisted only girls could. As I got older, people began admonishing me for partaking in activities I supposedly “shouldn’t have been.”
Most frequently, my interest in sports has been questioned. Any woman who plays or watches sports will understand the struggle. There are men who just assume we don’t know what we’re talking about or doing. They diminish what we say because they think our opinions aren’t valid. Sometimes even our motives are questioned. I once had a man ask me while watching baseball, “What boy are you trying to impress?” Honestly, I’m still amazed by the amount of restraint I had. Nothing would have made me happier than literally shoving him out the door and locking it behind him. What’s unfortunate is that this happens all the time. Women get insulted because some men think that sports are too masculine for us to understand or enjoy.
On the other hand, men who don’t like sports can be ridiculed by their peers as well. Especially if they enjoy other interests that are considered feminine. One of my closest friends experiences constant shaming in not adhering to such societal norms. He hates sports, is incredibly artsy and he loves going to the thrift store to find fashionable clothes. Yet for most of his life, people have made fun of him, questioned whether he was a “true man” and have made assumptions about his identity. By gendering interests and abiding by that construct, we’re essentially telling people that they can only like whatever fits their ascribed identity. Many are made to feel like outcasts, are labeled as weird and insulted on a personal level. As a society, we need to stop acting like only women can do feminine activities and that only men can like masculine things. We need to stop telling people who they should be or what they should act like. Most of all, the constant gendering of everything that exists in this world needs to stop. It leads to cruel judging and shaming, and often mentally scars those who receive it. Let’s do better as a society and uplift our peers instead of tearing them down. Who cares what other people like or enjoy? We should be encouraging everyone to do what they love, because ultimately, the very well-being of our friends and family depends on it.