Looking at the leaves changing colors and layering for the chilly weather, fall is obviously here. However, even though fall is my favorite season, that does not stop the seasonal depression from slowly creeping up on me. The shorter sunlight time makes it harder to get out of bed in the morning and muster up the motivation to get work done. I have found peace with my Sad Girl Autumn era as I continue to listen to melancholy music, read sad books and watch emotional TV. Here’s a compilation of several Sad Girl Autumn essentials.
Books:
You’ve Reached Sam by Dustin Thao
This highly anticipated novel by Dustin Thao was published at the end of last year. I say highly anticipated because I literally was 650th in line to place a hold on this book at the KC public library. You’ve Reached Sam illustrates 17-year-old Julie Clarke’s story as she gets ready to graduate high school. She has her entire future planned out from moving out of her small town with her boyfriend, Sam, to spending a summer in Japan. All of her plans come to a halt as Sam suddenly dies. While grieving, Julie can’t get herself to attend Sam’s funeral. She throws out all of his stuff and attempts to forget everything about him and how he died. Desperate to listen to his voice once more through his voicemail, Julie calls Sam’s phone number. And Sam picks up the phone.
I expected this book to break my heart, which it did. I really liked how the book switched back and forth between moments of the past and present because it gave a thorough look at Julie and Sam’s relationship. Sam picked up Julie’s call after he was dead and gave Julie a second chance to say goodbye. The book portrays grief very genuinely with its characters. You want to empathize with their pain. You want to hug them and tell them that it is going to be okay. The book is a quick read, however, I was literally crying, sobbing, banging my head on the wall and ripping my hair out when I was reading it.
Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner
Michelle Zauner writes a memoir that discusses growing up Korean American, losing her mother, and trying to create her own identity. Zauner tells tales of growing up as one of the few Asian American kids at her school in Oregon. She also talks about her struggles with trying to achieve her mother’s very high expectations of her. As she grew up, moving to the east coast for college, finding jobs in the restaurant industries and performing with her small scale band, Zauner describes how she felt her “Koreanness” was becoming distant, even when she felt like she was living the life she wanted. At 25, Michelle’s life took an abrupt turn when her mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer. The diagnosis brought a reckoning force onto Michelle’s identity. The change brought the mission for her to reclaim the gifts of language, history and taste that her mother had given her.
This book is incredible. It felt weird to rate this book on Goodreads because of how Zauner dives into the food associated with her culture and mother. The memoir seems like it was not intended for anyone but Michelle herself. All of her descriptions of growing up as an Asian American ring clear in my heart and I can relate to some of her experiences. I really appreciate how she sheds light on the ugly sides of grief, such as feeling selfish and jealous towards her mother’s other caretakers or arguments regarding her dad. The memoir is very intimate and evocative and if you need a good cry, here it is. Now I am going to go call my mom.
Songs to add to the Sad Girl Autumn Playlist:
Champagne Problems by Taylor Swift
Valentine’s Day by Misterwives
Eight by IU
Cherry by Harry Styles
Very, Slowly by bibi
Ghostin by Ariana Grande
Liability by Lorde
TV:
Warning, there are spoilers ahead.
Twenty-Five Twenty-One
Twenty-Five Twenty-One follows Na Hee-Do’s daughter who is reading her mother’s diaries from her high school days which illustrate the love story between Na Hee-Do and Baek Yi-Jin. The story takes place at the beginning of the South Korean IMF financial crisis where Na Hee-Do is a member of her high school fencing team. Due to the crisis, Hee-Do’s fencing team is disbanded, and we then see her journey to become a fencer for the Korean National team. The financial crisis also causes Baek Yi-Jin’s business to go bankrupt, which leads to a major life change for Baek Yi-Jin as he goes from living the life of a wealthy person dreaming to work at NASA to a poor person working part-time jobs, such as delivering newspapers. With him, we see his journey from realizing that dreams are not stationary and not always guaranteed as he becomes a sports reporter.
We also have a few side characters that are worth mentioning, such as Ko Yu-rim. Ko Yu-rim is a high school fencing gold medalist whom Na Hee-Do idolizes. However, coming from a poor family that was hit really hard by the financial crisis, Yu-rim’s insecurities get the best of her, and Yu-rim is very mean to Na Hee-Do for the first half of the drama. We also have Moon Jiwoong who is Na Nee-Do’s classmate and wishes to go the non traditional route of not going to college and becoming an influencer. Finally, we have Ji Seung-wan who is the class president, and Moon Jiwoong’s ‘diaper buddy.’ Seung-wan believes that the life she is living is boring and she wants to do something with her life. She hosts an anonymous radio talk show where she raises awareness of the problems of the youth. The five of these characters become acquainted and journey through youth together.
I believe this is one of the best dramas I have watched in a long time. I find myself coming back to rewatch as a comfort show. This drama has taught me so much about life, especially to live my youth to the fullest even if I know if it won’t last forever. The emotional aspect that hits very hard in this drama is that the people you meet in your life won’t last forever because every person has a certain purpose in your life and they will leave once it’s over. We need to learn to accept it wholeheartedly and that memories last forever (supposedly).
All of these entertainment forms will definitely get you into your feelings. Hopefully, each form of entertainment will let you get in touch with your Sad Girl Autumn this fall. However, I believe it is healthy to let out a good cry every so often. Hopefully, you enjoy a good cry with these novels, music and shows.