If You Don’t Know, it’s a No.

With “cuffing season” quickly approaching – along with the cooler weather, spooky season, etc. – it’s likely many of us are trying to find a special someone to spend the season with. While getting to know someone that you’re interested in, it’s normal to have your doubts here and there. There’s a difference between doubts and being used, however. You owe it to yourself to recognize when your efforts are not being reciprocated. If you’re left for days or weeks wondering where you stand with a potential partner, it’s time to start rethinking things. 

 It really is as simple as, “if they wanted to, they would.” You don’t owe it to them to keep making excuses for their actions or justify their wrongs. People have busy lives, but they choose to make time for the things and the people that they care about. Therefore, if you’ve gotten the same lousy text for days or weeks at a time saying that they’re busy, it almost directly translates to, “You’re not a priority to me.”

silhouette of man and woman kissing at sunset Photo by Annette Sousa from Unsplash Additionally, if someone is interested, but they really are  busy, they will be clear and communicative about it. They will be open about things and give you the reassurance that you need so that you aren’t constantly doubting the potential the two of you have. It doesn’t take much time or effort to send a quick text saying they’re thinking of you!

 Here’s my personal favorite line (can you sense the sarcasm) that people love to use when they have you on their hook. They’ll go on and on telling you about how special you are and how you’re one of a kind. They’ll shower you with compliments and then add something like, “This just isn’t the right time.” This is simply code for, “I’m not interested.” There is no such thing as the right person at the wrong time because people will fight for those that they actually want to be with!

 Stop breaking your own heart for someone who probably wouldn’t be as good as you’re expecting.Their confusion and not knowing means NO. It’s time to let them go and find someone who actually deserves you. If someone truly wants you, you won’t have to beg for time or effort; never forget that.