Photo By Ryan Franco
I was 14 when I began my first serious relationship. Since then, my relationships have lasted anywhere from three days to nearly four years. These relationships have taught me how to avoid remaking my past mistakes along with understanding which characteristics I find important in a significant other. I try everyday to keep these three enlightenments in mind:
Communication
The most important thing I have learned from my failed relationships is the necessity of communication. Many of us struggle to convey to our significant others when we are not content in a relationship. It starts small. Maybe he did not help wash the dishes even though you made dinner. Maybe he is disinterested in how your day went. Whatever it is, speak up. Something small can fester and build on other small things until you grow to resent each other.
Effort
As relationships mature, we fall into the routine of sticking to our routine. We go to class and to work, why spend the money and time going on a date when we both have homework? This is the biggest strength and weakness of a long-term relationship. In one aspect, you feel comfortable going makeupless because you know he will not mind. He knows he can gain some weight, and you will not care. Yet, this also makes the relationship lose its specialness. Without effort, even just occasional effort, it feels as though you are only staying together to not be alone.
Accept Some of the Blame, but Not All
One of my friends likes to point out that you either marry the person you are dating, or you break up. Sometimes you just are not compatible. Maybe you were quick to get angry, but he did not appreciate what you did for him. Rarely is only one person to blame when a relationship ends. Recognize your shortcomings, and how to improve them, along with his.
We cannot change the past. All we can do is learn from our mistakes and move on. In hindsight, it becomes easy to see why most of our relationships did not work out anyway.