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This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UK chapter.

It is almost time for finals, so naturally I have been procrastinating my essays by scrolling through Pinterest.

 

Amid recipes, work out tips and gardening ideas for a yard I do not have, I found an article about how to remove blackheads. I clicked on the thumbnail, believing I had nothing to lose.

 

I skimmed through the article. It was formatted recipe-style with two ingredients: turmeric and milk.

 

I find my forgotten jar of turmeric in the back of my cabinet, behind the more practical spices like garlic powder and cinnamon.

 

I mixed the two ingredients in the bottom of a coffee mug. The back of a measuring spoon served as a spatula.

 

I started at my nose, spreading thick globs of orange paste from my hairline to my chin.

 

Setting a timer for twenty minutes, I returned to planning a wedding years in the future.  I kept a hand outstretched to keep my dog from licking the hardening mixture from my face.

 

For those of you who do not know, turmeric is a bright orange spice commonly used in Indian food.  I bought the spice freshman year when I decided to make a batch of Tikka Masala at two in the morning because I was an adult and could.

 

Ever since, I have moved it along with me from dorm to summer apartment to sophomore apartment to I-want-to-live-by-myself-and-get-a-dog apartment.

 

It can also be mixed with henna powder to dye the design yellow.  I remembered this at minute eighteen.

 

I ran to the bathroom, feeling like an April Fool’s Day victim.  I rubbed at my face. Yellow dye stained my bathroom counter. It was too late.  

 

I already looked like Donald Trump.

"You can tell how smart people are by what they laugh at." -Tina Fey