I recently realized that next week is “dead week.” I should be excited about that fact, because it means summer break has come knocking. I am not. I am not not ready for this semester to end. No! It’s because I love school so much I won’t know what to do with myself and all that free time. It’s because I suck at school and revel in intense procrastination. Now, it is catching up to me in a million fold. I have so much to do in the next week and a half, that just thinking about it makes me want to buy my future self ice cream. A lot of ice cream!
With this daunting future ahead one would assume that I would be in full on “get sh*t done” mode. But rather, I’m in “let’s plan a very detailed schedule that won’t be followed” mode. In other words, procrastination is at its best. My current behavior reminds me of an article I recently read that said something along the lines of “people don’t procrastinate because they’re lazy, but because the task triggers negative emotions.” I can not relate to that any better. My emotional trigger is failure.
Being so close to the end of the semester means the grades I receive now will define my final grades. I’ve had a decent semester, including some big ups and downs. However, there is a fear that if I can’t finish on a good note then all that work that I’ve put in the past three months would be useless, and that terrifies me.
So, I guess what I have to do now is pull up my big woman pants and get my life together. “The only thing worse than failure, is not trying at all.”