The other day, my (male) friend and I were having a discussion on women in the workplace. Specifically, we spoke about how to approach an interview and give off great first impressions, and how different that process can be for males and females. We came to the agreement that, unfortunately, it’s much more difficult for a woman to make a good first impression than it is for a man due to the extreme scrutiny a woman faces when it comes to her appearance.
I was excited to hear him say he understood the pressure women must feel every time we apply for jobs, or have an interview, or a business meeting, etc. I asked him a couple more questions regarding women’s rights and gender equality, and, to my pleasant surprise, he was really in-tune to the major issues and showed clear support for women and equal rights.
“I’m so happy you’re a feminist!” I concluded excitedly.
“Oh god no, I’m definitely not a feminist. Wait, do you consider yourself to be [a feminist]?”
I don’t mean to quote one of the most fabulous feminists of all time, but HOLD UP.
First of all, let me just say that the rest of that conversation got a little heated. And quite frankly, I can’t even remember how it eventually ended.
I immediately got frustrated with him for reacting so negatively when I called him a feminist. You’d seriously think I was insulting him – and in his eyes, I was! He was so offended by the word that he ended up spouting a long-winded, poorly-constructed “argument” as to why calling someone a feminist is a bad thing.
These are some actual things that came out of his mouth:
“If you tell people you’re a feminist, they’re automatically going to think you’re a bitch.”
“Maybe not all of them, but most feminists are angry all the time.”
“Just because I agree with all those things doesn’t mean you can just label me as a feminist.”
That last one had me like,
That doesn’t even make sense. It’d be like saying someone who is inherently racist doesn’t want to be called a racist, therefore they are not actually racist.
Being a feminist is not a bad thing. Of course, it’s expected that there are going to be some extremists out there who draw lots of negative media attention. These are the posts you see on Facebook and Twitter featuring bra-less women with hairy armpits participating in violent protests or showing support for an extremist organization or point of view. But that is far from what feminism is about!
I have heard/seen/read too many things where people will agree to all things “feminism” except being called a feminist. The biggest argument is that the word is harsh and negative, and that other people won’t take them seriously if they identify as a feminist.
“Feminist” is not a dirty word. It’s not vulgar, it’s not demeaning, it’s not hurtful, it’s not a slur. It’s a term used to embrace an identity. If you’re concerned that other people might think otherwise, don’t you want to be a part of the movement that showcases the strength behind the identity, rather than a supporter of its ridicule?
The more supporters, the more people who will embrace the term and use it with confidence, the more accepting others will be of the feminist movement. Don’t be scared to tell someone you’re a feminist in fear that they will jump to conclusions; be prepared to show them what a real feminist looks like!
Real feminists come in all shapes and sizes, all races and ethnicities, and all genders and ages. Don’t perpetuate the stereotypes against feminists by avoiding the term. Be the face of feminism, and be proud to say you’re a feminist! Show people that their stereotypes are wrong and explain to them their misconceptions about feminism. Be willing to be a voice for what you believe in.
Changing the perceptions of the word “feminist” can start right on your own campus. People will have concerns and will not always be accepting – but with a little patience, understanding, and open communication, you have the power to make “feminist” a good word.
Photo credit: Sally T. Buck http://www.flickr.com/photos/57029628@N04/32327213582″>Women’s March on Washington – Vancouver, Canada via http://photopin.com”>photopin https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-nd/2.0/”>(license)