In today’s society, it is easy to confuse what the self-love is. For women, it is even more confusing with all the products that are sold to us, and with each comes its own message. Each message is positive in its own way like those that tell us to embrace our curves, encourages us to wear our hair naturally or to be bold and wear bright neon lipstick. So, we get it, try something different without having to worry about what others think. For those that do take this next step, it requires for us to be comfortable with ourselves first. But, how exactly does someone become comfortable with their own bodies and who they are?
For example, if someone is tired of hiding scars underneath makeup or might be tired of hiding their curves in baggy clothes, they will not take that next crucial step of being who they really are without self-love. Commercials and articles on Teen or Seventeen Magazine might tell us how to spice up our sex lives or ways to get a date, but this would not mean anything to the reader if he/she is not willing to take an initiative. Instead of actively participating, you get the feeling of being on the outside and looking in. It would simply be like imagining a world of “what if” and then putting the magazine back down and continuing on with your life.
What exactly is getting to the heart of the issue? Could watching motivational YouTube videos and hearing speeches on the experiences of other women be the solution? You can most definitely learn from others, relate to others, and feel a little less lonely. But, the extra push needed to find the will, strength, and determination is something only you can do. The next step is to look inside yourself and find out what is wrong. You have to open up old wounds, and it can quite literally be painful (emotionally). When you do, you will look back, and see all the times you might have given up on yourself or felt angry and disappointed with yourself. This pain could have been caused by other people, situations that were out of your control, but you blamed yourself for, or a lack of support from others. Either way, this all translated to shame, and that is the feeling that does not allow you to love yourself.
Introspection is needed for us to get to know ourselves. By spending time alone, we give ourselves more space to silence out all other noises. When you are able to find why you feel hurt, and where it stems from the next step is to start believing that you are valuable and special. This is not something that happens from one day to the other, and just because you might feel better, it does not mean that self-love does not require daily work. It is good to be honest with ourselves, and realize that society does not always embrace people of color or someone who might have a disability. It is a tough world out there, and we can’t take no for an answer. If people don’t like us, love yourself, and just show them what’s more important – your validation or their’s.
Sometimes people have a way to hide these feelings, but you really don’t ever know who lacks self-love. From experience, the people who like to put on a facade of self-love, who don’t like to admit to such feelings are lying. This is so that others feel insecure or inadequate that they don’t love themselves as much. But, trust me we are all human, and we all feel insecure.
You have always thought that you could be more, that the ultimate version of yourself which would only exist in your imagination is something truly attainable. You can become who you wish to be. So, no matter if people don’t smile back at you, or do not talk to you, there would not be anything that could hurt you. Don’t let anyone burst your bubble, and believe in yourself!