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Why I Owe You Nothing

There’s so many things I could ask or say to the people that expected I owe them something, particularly in the dating scene. To all the men who expect something, I just have one question for you: why do I owe you something or anything at all? Why am I expected to give you something that goes beyond a good conversation and telling lame dad jokes?

Dating is nonexistent nowadays. The hookup culture is the phenomenon, which is okay. I’ve been part of the hookup culture, but when you’re in it for a while; things start to get old or complicated. The feelings happen from either side, but ends on the awkward note of I just don’t want a relationship. I concluded that the hookup culture was fun for a bit, but I want something serious now. I started to get into the dating scene and of course, things were awkward after coming out of the hookup mentality. The first couple of dates were fine and made me realize why I missed dating, but it wasn’t until I came across my first “you owe me something” date that made me question dating.

I shook it off as a bad date, but it wasn’t until I came across more guys that went with this “you owe me something” mentality or the “sex expectation” mentality. If you don’t know this mentality, then be happy that you haven’t come across it yet. The “sex expectation” mentality or “you owe me something” mentality is basically the entitlement of sex after a date.  For example, a guy wined and dined me, which was a good time, since we had a good conversation. Things had to end and there was the slight awkward pause that all first dates have. There was a hug and a kiss, yet he tried to push for more. He gave me a look that said “you owe me this” after I said no. Obviously, I left, but it left me wondering if all dates would be this way. It made me wonder if we were on the same page at all. I went in with just hoping the date would go well, but his thoughts were if I wine and dine her, then we’ll have sex. I’m not the only one to come across this, since a friend of mine went to grab drinks with a guy and she had invited him over, so he could sober up before driving home. He had the “sex expectation” mentality that buying my friend a drink and her inviting him over was a sex invitation. It’s as if people in this day and age mixed the hooking up aspect with dating to kill two birds with one stone.

What happened to doing something for someone because you wanted to and not because you expect something from him or her after? It amazes me that in the dating aspect, I have met so many people that think I owe them something. If you think going on a date entitles you to a blowjob or sex, then reevaluate your intentions. This sense of entitlement needs to end because it gives dating a bad name. It leaves people like me questioning dating. Do not play the field if what you’re looking for is sex because just say it and don’t waste a person’s time by going on a date with them, but secretly just wanting a hookup. I have an answer to those that have the “sex expectation” mentality, which is I OWE YOU NOTHING. Do not expect things from me. Do not go in with expectations. Do not tell me that I owe you something because guess what I don’t.


Hi I'm Aeja! Junior at UIC and a Pre Nursing Major. I try to write what inspires me, so I hope you enjoy my articles!
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