If you told me I was going to be in a pageant, I would laugh in your face. I’m not the pageant type. I barely wear makeup, fix my hair and pick out a decent outfit. I always trip, especially in heels because I’m clumsy. I would never consider myself like Miss USA or Miss Universe material because I don’t have any of their qualities. I also considered pageants superficial and demeaning to women. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I do watch Miss Universe here and there like the next person. I even watched the latest Miss Universe and was pleasantly surprised to see women with high degrees and to see more women of color; I still think Miss Jamaica should have won. So, I’m sure you’re wondering how I ended up in a pageant when I don’t like them?
I’m still surprised I ended up in one, but it was a philanthropy event for my sorority council and by one of my friends. The pageant consisted of 14 contestants from all of the 5 different sororities. The pageant consisted of trivia/interview questions, introductions, and a talent portion. If you won the pageant, then over $1000 would go to your sorority’s philanthropy, which the money was fundraised by each sorority. Now in my head, I thought that this wasn’t a typical beauty pageant and that it was for a good cause, so why not? I’m happy to say that it was nothing like I expected when I participated. All of the girls were friendly, and there wasn’t a competitive vibe. My thoughts going in before were that everyone is going to be super competitive, but I was proven wrong.
Yes, it was terrifying to stand in front my peers and the judges. It was a lot to just expose myself up there and to even sing in front my peers, since I’ve never sung in public before that wasn’t in a group. I had all the fears running through my head on if I was making a fool of myself and if people were thinking negatively about me. I wanted to run off that stage and hide in the bathroom. It was all the fears you have when you have to do something in public. I didn’t have confidence in myself, going into this pageant, and had so many doubts.
I am to say that this pageant made me more confident in myself. It reminded me of my love of singing and performing in front of people. I had the support of my friends, sorority sisters, and the other contestants. There were words of encouragement from all of my council sisters. It reminded me that there are empowering women and that pageants are not always to tear a person down. There are women to give you constant support, whether or not you are competitors because at the end of the day you’re just women trying to make a difference.