Hello, it’s me.
Don’t worry, I’m not going to continue to reference this song, although it is quite fitting in this situation. Oh man, it’s been a long time since we’ve talked. You probably wouldn’t even recognize me now as the same person you used to know. I’ve changed a lot and I assume you have too. Anyway, I have a few things I’d like to say to you. I know you might not want to hear what I have to say, but I’ve been wanting to get this off my conscience. I want to start off by apologizing.
I’m sorry for all of the childish worries I put on you when we were dating. In my defense, I was young and I didn’t know any better. I used to have so many insecurities, and I still do, but I’m getting much better at dealing with them in a more mature way. I’ve become much more comfortable in my own skin and am proud to say that I’m really starting to love myself. When we were dating, my insecurities caused me to have trust and jealousy issues. They made me get angry and upset over insignificant things. You had to put up with a lot of my craziness and I’m sorry for that.
I’m sorry for not fully appreciating you like I should have. I didn’t realize how rare a person like you is. You did so much for me. You always took care of me and were honest with me even when you knew the truth would make me mad. I may not have appreciated you as much as you deserved at the time, but boy do I appreciate you now. You were (and continue to be) the best hearted person I’ve ever met. I was just too stupid to realize how great you were.
I also want to apologize for how things ended between us. I was selfish. Towards the end of our relationship I neglected you. Without explanation, I stopped trying. Part of the problem was that I didn’t know how to deal with it myself. I was confused. I was afraid of losing something that was really good, but for some reason I simply didn’t feel it anymore. Nothing bad happened; neither of us did anything wrong. For some inexplicable reason it just felt to me like that chapter of my life was over. I’m sorry that I didn’t communicate my internal struggles with you. I led you to believe everything was fine when in my heart I knew that it was going to end. I wish now that I had handled it better. I know that I left you confused and heartbroken. After over four years, it all ended so abruptly. I tried to explain that I needed to be able to grow on my own and you didn’t seem to understand. I hope now that you’ve had some time to do the same you realize you’re better off without me too. I believe that my childish insecurities were holding us both back and I only hope you can now see what I meant.
Finally, I want to thank you. You showed me what it’s like to be in a wonderful relationship (aside from my own personal issues). I know now what to look for in a partner. I know that no matter what sh*t other guys may put me through, not to lose hope that there are good guys out there. Thank you for showing me how wonderful it is to be in love. Throughout our relationship, and now through reflecting upon it, I’ve learned so much about love. My experiences have made my outlook on the topic much more mature than they otherwise would be. We both taught each other so many things and I wouldn’t be the person I am now if it weren’t for you.
Although we haven’t spoken in months, I do think about you and I do care about you. Thank you for being a part of my life. I hope you are doing well and I wish you all the happiness in the world.
Sincerely,
Clare