An Open Letter to My Angel Brother

The news of your death roamed 4,422 miles to me. Before leaving to study abroad, Mom said to be prepared to say goodbye for good. I didn’t believe her. I had a mindset that you’d get better, and I get to see you waiting on the other side of the airport rope alongside our family and everyone else’s loved ones. I would have your souvenir secured in my checked bag, all ready to hand you once we got home. But that isn’t the case, brother.

You fought for so long and we saw you suffer the last weeks of your time with us. Mom and I would go visit you at the hospital every day from 9AM until 6PM. It was tough not being able to talk to you or even see you open your eyes. Seeing you hooked up to all the medical equipment that kept you alive brought me to tears because I knew you were in pain.

But once I left, you started getting better. The daily calls from Mom, Dad, and our sisters made everything seem like you were on the uphill climb to recovery. The doctors told Mom that after you got better, you’d need our love and extra support because the fight wasn’t over after checking you out of immediate care. You would have to move-in to the house and Mom said she’d never you leave your sight until you got better. Nothing else mattered, as long as we had you, we were content.

Slowly, I heard of progressing statuses. Mom’s voice sounded more cheerful. Moré commented that she was watching a movie with you and the nurse accidently started it all over with no way of skipping the commercials. Everyone’s spirts were up and I was so happy.

The news of your passing was a complete shock. I was at a restaurant eating with some friends when I got the call. My heart sunk. I felt the wave of sadness and just started crying thinking about all the things I planned on sharing you with. That day, Mom didn’t want to talk to anyone and Moré didn’t want to let go of you.

We think about you every day. There hasn’t been one day I haven’t cried over losing you.

I call Mom on a daily basis seeing how she is. She reminds me to stay strong and I tell her the same. It’s tough being out here alone, but I’ve made great friends here that were strangers a month ago yet they have become my greatest support system. I’m lucky to have Clare alongside me here, too. I don’t think I would survive without these girls. I’m forever grateful for their love.

So many things I wanted to tell you and spend time with you once I got home. I’m sad I can’t go to your funeral. I hope this serves some appreciation to your kind soul. Even though I can never repay all that you’ve done for me, I can work towards being kind, humble, and loving just like you always exemplified.

Forever in my heart,

-Your Little Sister