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How to Overcome Trust Issues in Your Relationship

This article is written by a student writer from the Her Campus at UIC chapter.

With so many social media platforms in existence today, it’s not surprising that jealousy and trust issues are at an all-time high. If you find yourself having these struggles, know that you are not alone. Everyone deals with it at some point or another. I’ve been there and I’ve learned a lot from it. Below is a list of eight ways to overcome these problems; all based on my own experience. 

1. Be unapologetically yourself.

This is important in life in general, but it’s especially important in relationships. If you’re yourself no matter what, you’ll never have to worry that you’re doing something wrong or that you need to act differently to keep the interest of your significant other. If they decide to hurt you, you’ll know that they didn’t deserve you. Being fake only puts up a wall of insecurity in your relationship and makes you more paranoid that they’ll find someone better. Being yourself also allows you to be confident in yourself, which brings us to point number two.

2. Be confident.

I cannot emphasize enough how important it is to be confident. Be confident in your relationship, but more importantly you must be confident in yourself. You are beautiful and wonderful. Hell, you’re an effing queen. The sooner you realize that, the sooner you’ll be able to let go of any insecurities that might be making it hard for you to trust your partner.

3. …Or fake it ‘till you make it.

Being confident is hard and to be completely honest, sometimes you just have to fake it. That’s okay. “Faking it ‘till you make it” is a real thing and it works. Before long, you’ll find that you’re truly much more confident.

4. Know your worth.

This comes with being confident; they really go hand in hand. If you know your worth you won’t be worried about your partner hurting you because you’re a queen (as we’ve already established) and who would want to risk losing a queen? If they do, then forget them—they didn’t deserve you anyway.

5. Understand that jealousy and trust issues will only hurt the relationship.

Getting unnecessarily jealous will only push your partner away, which is the opposite of what you want to happen. If your partner feels like you don’t trust them, they aren’t going to want to stay in a relationship with you. That’s exhausting for everyone involved and doesn’t make for a healthy relationship. When you understand this, you’ll be able to see that jealousy does more damage than anything else. Unless you have an objectively valid reason for being suspicious of your significant other, you just need to trust them.

6. Don’t ever try to make your significant other jealous.

If your partner does something that makes you feel jealous, do NOT in return try to make them jealous. You don’t want to play those games. It’s immature and it’ll only end up hurting both of you. This will only lead to more jealousy if they decide to respond in the same way. Simply talk to your significant other about what is bothering you.

7. Have good communication.

This is crucial. You should feel comfortable addressing problems and concerns with your significant other. You should also be open to hearing their problems and concerns. It’s nearly impossible to be able to trust someone whole-heartedly if you feel as though you can’t communicate well with them. Establish the grounds for open and honest communication.

8. Have a good group of friends.

Having a good group of friends will ease that fear of being hurt by your partner, which is the root of all trust issues. If you know you have a good group of friends to fall back on and aren’t so reliant on your partner for friendship, you’ll be able to relax a little. You’ll know that no matter what happens, you’ll be okay because you have them. 

Clare is a sophomore at the University of Illinois at Chicago. She is majoring in Marketing and planning on minoring/double majoring in Finance. In her freetime, Clare loves drinking tea, hanging out with her friends and catching up on her favorite TV shows!
Erin is a Communication student at the University of Illinois at Chicago and the President and Editor-in-Chief of UIC's Her Campus chapter. On a daily basis, she can be found making excessive film references and getting overly emotional about superhero TV shows. She has a deep passion for writing, movies, music, good books, and great food, and will gladly talk your ear off about all of the above if prompted to do so.