How to Crack Open a Pistachio

Remember all those times when you had the urge to eat pistachios but you didn't have the strength to open those pistachio shells? Well, here are some ways that can help you open the pistachio easily.

1. Sit on it

There is actually a scientific process to this. The weight of your body can crack the shell enough for you to pull the green inner part out. Or maybe you’ll just look hilarious while doing it and science actually doesn’t work that way. Sorry!

2. Smash it with a baseball bat

If you don’t have the strength to open up pistachio shells, I doubt you’ll have the strength to leverage up the baseball bat and bring it down with some force on a defenseless pistachio. Good luck with that!

3. Try opening one with your teeth

I’m surprised this didn’t make it higher on this list. This is probably the most reasonable way to open the shell. I doubt your frail teeth could withstand that much pressure and will probably fall out. Fortunately, it’s never too early for dentures.

4. Or just don't

I heard it’s healthier to actually eat the whole pistachio. Just swallow the pistachio whole, shell and all. What could it hurt anyway? It saves you the trouble of opening the shell AND chewing. You might have some trouble digesting; I warned you!

5. Have the pistachio open itself

Seduce the pistachio so it wants to take its shell off all by itself. Why force it to do something it doesn’t want to do? Ask for permission, wait, and let the magic happen.

6. Have someone else do it

Nothing is better than not doing your own work. I know that if you want it done right, you have to do it yourself, but there is no right way to open a pistachio, clearly. Maybe, while the person is opening up your pistachio, offer them one. Sit down with them at the park, eat pistachios together.