Hi, my name’s Shameless, and this is my confession. What’s yours?
I’ve never been one to reflect on my actions, much less accept how much they may have impacted those around me. I’ve also never been the one to tell you to “not do it.” My motto: “If you can do it, why keep yourself from doing it?”
During the spring semester of my sophomore year at college, I said “F***k it” to Organic chemistry and my parents’ dream of me ever becoming a renowned neurologist.
“F you!” I shouted during the middle of Orgo lecture as I stood up to leave. The professor looked around to see who had disturbed everyone’s sleep and his monologue.
“Care to explain to the entire class, why you expressed such profanity during class?” My professor boomed from behind his podium. We locked eyes, that professor and I, we both knew I didn’t really have a reason to hate the class. I was doing well; my midterm grade had been a B, and I could get an A by the end if I scored high enough on the final.
I shrugged. “Nah,” I sighed, “see y’all later. I’m out.”
And, with that, I had flushed my pre-medicine goals down the drain.
Now, my parents weren’t happy with my decision to suddenly drop the entire idea of me ever becoming a doctor. But, what could I say? I hated medicine; the cold, white buildings that always smelled of alcohol wipes, sterile gloves, and sickness, the passive aggressiveness that festered between every nurse and doctor, it all made me cringe.
“Aren’t you ashamed?” My parents scolded; their upper lips rose up and down like feral dogs as they tried to reason out my actions in their heads. “Aren’t you afraid?”
“Afraid? Ha! Of what, not finding a job?” I laughed as I bit into my PB&J sandwich. My poor mother could only gasp. “Yeah, nah.”
I shrugged and left for my room, where I pulled out my laptop and wrote this- my confession:
I confess to shattering my parents’ dreams of me someday becoming a doctor, of me one day being able to financially support my parents with all the money I’d earn, of offending them during family events where they’d have to explain to relatives how I’d no longer be the family’s future caretaker confess to realizing that there’s more to life than school and money, and that is my own happiness. I confess to being selfish and finally taking the initiative to think for myself and choosing a career I love. I’m not sorry that I applied to that NBC/Telemundo internship and got it, nor am I sorry that I’ve accomplished so much professionally – writing, translating, and reporting for them. Yes, I’ve taken measure to network with everyone there. And, yes, they are all as nice and helpful off screen as they are on screen. I’m happy now. No, I am not afraid or ashamed because I am fearless. I am Shameless.