Gifs credited to Giphy, thumbnail credit to Chicago Sun-Times
Look, I get it. We’re college students in one of the biggest cities in the world, we have a card that lets us go anywhere in the city for free, so of course, we’re going to be taking the Chicago Transit Authority (CTA) at some point. Most of the people are normal, but there are some people or things you’re going to deal with that you wish you didn’t have to deal with. Here are a few of them.
1. The person who talks loudly on their cellphone in a silent car
Oh no, I totally wanted to hear about your mother’s dog’s cousin having hemorrhoids at 9 a.m. Really. And, I’m sure the rest of the train wanted to hear it too.
2. The drunk suburbans
Wow, that’s so great that you all got to see the Blackhawks/Bears/Cubs/Soxs! What’s not great though? The fact that you’re loud and rowdy at 10 p.m., how you all absolutely reek of booze, and how everyone’s very loud about how scared they are of the L. You were in Wrigleyville, for God’s sake—what’s the worst that’s going to happen there?
3. The sober suburbans
Less loud and rowdy, less booze, but a ton more of the fear. Yes, all of the L lines can be sketchy as heck, but you’re not going to the Dan Ryan: you’re getting off at Jackson, aka the stop where everybody gets off. Chill.
4. The panhandlers
Wow, you need money for your meds? That’s so funny, considering that you asked me the same question yesterday when I was on the blue line? Come on, dude, at least let a week go by before you start begging for money from me again. Please?
5. The poop bandit
Wow, there’s an empty car in the middle of rush hour, this is—OH NO! I KNOW WHY IT’S EMPTY. IT SMELLS. ABORT MISSION! ABORT! ABORT! ABORT! WHO DID THIS?! WHO?!
6. The chair hogger
If it’s anytime but rush hour? Cool, your bag can get a seat. If it is rush hour? Don’t act all pissy with me when I ask to sit down. Treat your bag like a child during rush hour and have it sit. On. Your. Lap.
7. The creep
Need I say more?
8. The music players
I love Chance too, but please don’t blast it on the blue line before I have my morning coffee. Thank you <3
9. Normal people
The worst of the worst, they cram the trains at every chance they get, leaving the rest of us with nowhere to sit down. :(