Call me Scrooge, but Valentine’s Day is the bane of my existence. I’ll “bah-humbug” all day until the awful pink-and-red monstrosity is over. Bah-Humbug! If that sounds like you, you might want to sit tight and hear me out on this one. For all of you who don’t have that special someone in your life, it’s not a foreign concept to feel dread in your stomach as the day approaches. Everyone, I mean everyone, is talking about their V-day plans and it makes you feel so alone. This feeling of FOMO will only intensify as you scroll through Instagram the day of and see everyone posting their boo. It’s difficult to participate in a holiday you feel isn’t for you because you think you lack the criteria. You feel woefully in your heart that something is missing or wrong with you. A day that is supposed to feel warm suddenly grows cold.
And to that, I raise this question: why does Valentine’s Day have to be sad because you’re single? While romantic love is beautiful in its own right, other kinds of love are also magical to experience. As a collective, let us approach Valentine’s Day differently this year. It starts with decentering romantic love.
I know. It sounds absolutely wild. Radical, even. But I think it might just help make your Valentine’s a little easier. Championing romantic love as a cure-all to all our problems does more harm than good. If you are without a partner, it doesn’t mean you are “half” and need to find the other one. Even if we don’t know it quite yet, we are already whole. We are taught from when we are small to find the person who will be our happily ever after and complete us. If we don’t, we’ll go on to live a sad, sad life. The beautiful thing about a romantic partner is that they add to you, not complete you. In our search to feel complete, we will end up losing ourselves in the process. It’s reinforced by movies, fairy tales, and the like. I think we all got a little carried away.
On Valentine’s Day, it is so easy to feel sorrow, to feel left out. It’s easy to let this holiday emphasize the things that you lack. On the contrary, it is a day to value what you already have. Platonic, familial, and self-love are so important. Have a Galentine’s wine and pasta night with the girls. Call your mom, dad, and siblings and tell them just how much you love them. Make little cards and hand them out to your best pals. You deserve to be shown love in any form, and you are not unlovable just because you didn’t receive one hundred roses and chocolates from a paramour. Valentine’s Day is a celebration of love in all forms. It is a celebration of all the people who make your world brighter.
