Online Dating: Good or Bad?
This is yet another topic that seems to only bring about the controversial and disagreeing side of me, but I will try my best to be respectful of those who believe the opposite of me. I have friends that have met great people online, but I’m called here to write honestly.
If you are considering the option of dating online, you seem to fall into 2 categories: you are too busy to socialize or you are tired of trying in the bar scene, coffee shop scene, etc.
For the former category, I think there is an answer. Slow down a bit. When you give this reason, you seem to have already loaded your plate too much. Therefore, slow down a bit. Maybe you don’t have to be president of your sorority, the senior editor at the Red & Black, the director of communications for your philanthropy group and the 20hr./week barista at Starbucks. That seems a bit excessive. With that situation, you need to first seriously consider if you are setting aside enough time to chill with your friends and go out. If there is literally no choice in limiting your activities then consider this: ask your friends to set you up. Why trust online fabrications of people when you have your bros and bro-ettes! You have to trust their judgment to call them “friend.” And yes, they may get it wrong sometimes but I think it is safe to say that this option may pay off very well.
For the latter category, I need to say this:
If you ran into a few bad dudes that cheated, lied, stole, etc., then that is part of life. Yes, there are a few bad apples in the bunch but there are literally millions of potential suitors for you out in the world (especially at the university where there are over 10,000 guys here). Don’t give dumb blanket statements like, “Every guy I know here is a douchebag.” Thanks. We appreciate that.
I understand the degrees of separation too though, and that is to say that there may be an awesome guy out there but he’s very distant from me. He sits in my Chemistry class but I don’t have any connection to him. Let me suggest something that people think these days is so hard: Talk to him. Easier said then done, I understand, but the risks outweigh the benefits tenfold. Also, be open to guys approaching you. Do not shut them down! Trust me, every guy (including myself) wants to approach that girl and talk to her but we are too scared of immediately getting shutdown.
Here are my reasons for why online dating is not the greatest option:
- You are trusting a website to play matchmaker for you. Algorithmic compatibility? Computer programming can make my Mac my work, not my relationship status.
- You are bound to encounter liars. No matter how hard you try to avoid it, you will encounter people that didn’t exactly match up with the interests and pictures. “When was this picture of you taken again?” And if his interests include Nicholas Sparks novels, writing poetry AND thinking about women’s issues, he probably is fabricating a little bit.
- You are taking all the fun out of meeting each other. What’s more romantic? We met through the same organization we were involved with or Wet met online?
- You and the websites are functioning off of a very faulty idea of relationships. And that is that there is an absolutely perfect person for you out there. Is there? Surely the people I know who are in relationships can attest the opposite, and that is OK. The person you end up with isn’t perfect and so it is a lot more special that you still love them through it (“Through thick and thin” Come on!).
- Catfish. Learn from others’ mistakes.
My final note rests on this idea: Ask your friends for help and, for goodness sake, go out and meet people yourself if you really want somebody so bad right now. Online dating should be a last result.
Got a question for me? Sumit them here.