Dear Male Delivery,
I like this guy who I’ve been in a friends with benefits situation with for the past month. I realized I want more than being a FWB but I’m afraid of losing him. How can I transition the situation to becoming more? Or is it pointless?
From my experience and from the experience of some other guys I have talked, I can honestly tell you that trying to turn a FWB relationship into something more is pointless. I would say that 8 out of 10 guys that you meet would be completely happy with just hooking up, but they realize in order to hook up with a girl they first have to take them out to dinner, listen to their stories about another female they don’t like, and other stuff that I can promise you guys have no interest in. However in a FWB relationship, all of the meaningless stuff (in a guy’s opinion) is cut out and every guy loves that. It’s the best situation, all he has to do is show up and hook up; if you cooked him dinner afterward it would be pretty close to a man’s utopia.
The thing that a girl should understand before entering into a FWB relationship is that the three most important things to a man are time, money, and sex. The problem with these three things is that they conflict with each other because in order to have sex you must spend time and money on a girl. I am not saying that a girl isn’t worth it, but for a guy in college, his time and money are already spread very thin. So when a girl agrees to be in a FWB relationship, a guy feels that he has hit the jackpot. In your FWB relationship, you may feel like he is the perfect guy because he treats you like the perfect girl. He treats you that way because right now you are the perfect girl, but as soon as you want to change what he believes makes your relationship perfect, he will drastically change.
A relationship will not work for you two because you will always be the girl he use to just hook up with. It’s hard for a guy to imagine you as wifey material when you hook up with random guys. I know it sounds hypocritical, but all men are hypocritical when it comes to sex. We are ok with us having multiple partners, but we do not want to be with a girl in a long-term relationship who has had multiple partners. On a side-note, if you are a girl who has had a lot of sexual partners, it is perfectly fine to lie to your current boyfriend about your number of partners. A man wants a girl who knows what she is doing, but not someone who has been with more people than him; and honestly men assume that women are lying about their number of partners anyway.
The last thing I want to say about FWB relationships is that it is perfectly fine to enter one if you are a girl as long as you are entering it for the right reason. And that reason has to be solely sex. If you are a girl and you yourself just want to hook u, then by all means find a guy and have fun. However if you are hoping to use a FWB relationship to get close to a guy you really like, then you are wasting your time. Guys love sex but they don’t fall in love with a girl because of sex. Trust me, I know.
Got relationship problems? Guy issues? Love toubles you can’t talk about with your friends? Then ask Male Delivery! The advice is free and completely anonymous