How to Walk Through Tate Like a Pro

At this exact moment I probably have at least eight flyers shoved in the bottom of my book bag from the many walks through Tate Plaza this past week. Generally, I avoid the Tate vultures but sometimes they have pizza. And I like pizza. Anyways, here are some tips on how to walk through Tate Plaza unscathed.

 

1.     Headphones are your best friends. Headphones in, world out. Throw in a couple dance moves while you’re at it, they really won’t bother you then. 

 

2.     Find a large group of people and slowly ease your way into the middle. 

 

3.     Upon approaching Tate Plaza designate some poor, unknowing soul as your human shield. Wherever they go, you go. The people at Tate can’t pass out flyers fast enough. It’ll be like you’re not even there. 

 

4.     Tousle your hair and look frantic. If someone approaches you, walk briskly and claim you’re late for an exam. 

 

5.     “I can’t miss my bus.” Take off quickly toward Tate bus stop. Odds are there won’t be a bus there. So if they’re still watching you, pull one of these numbers: 

 

6.     Whip out your invisibility cloak. Jk, I wish. 

 

Congratulations, you can now walk through Tate Plaza like a boss!