In general, I’m a fairly reserved person, but sometimes I get bursts of boldness. There was a boy in my class who I thought was cute. After a few weeks I figured out he was good friends with my roommate. She confirmed that he was a great guy and that I should get to know him. For the record, I wouldn’t say I “liked” this guy or even had a crush on him. I just thought he was cute and nice. Nothing wrong with that! I was also in the process of getting over a complicated break-up and decided I should ask cute boy (naming him cute boy for purposes of this story) to get coffee because this is 2017 and I do as I please. As soon as he walked into class that day I lost all my courage and decided to abort the coffee mission. Class ended and he set up at a table in the hallway. We waved goodbye and went on with our normal Tuesday/Thursday schedule. I went into the bathroom and when I came back out I looked at the door leading to the stairwell. My mind walked towards to the stairs, but my legs walked toward cute boy. Before I knew it I was standing in front of him. Face to face. He looked up from his computer and said, “Hey, what’s up?” with his cute boy smile. I suddenly forgot all words. How did I get here? What language do I speak? I mentally kicked myself to say something because now it had been a solid five seconds of me standing in front of him in silence. Finally I let out a short, awkward “hi.” I could feel my eyes widening by the second. I didn’t need a mirror to know I had the deer-in-the-headlights look down. Surprising myself, I blurted out, “Do you want to get coffee with my sometime?!” It sounded more like a command than a question. I’m starting to sweat and I feel the redness setting in on my face. He laughed his cute boy laugh and said, “Sure, where were you thinking?” I am now sweating bullets and am convinced anyone within 20 feet could hear my heart beating. “Um I don’t know, I don’t even know if you like coffee, but they probably have tea, or maybe water.” Maybe water?? Am I for real? Was that a joke? Did I really just suggest he order water? He laughed again and said, “Yeah, I like coffee. When do you want to go?” So you think by now I would have collected myself. Alas, no. In response I said, “I don’t know, I’m pretty busy this week…but I guess I can just text you so we can figure out a day. Sooo can I have your number?” Oh, so now I’m too busy to get coffee with him? Who do I think I am? For some reason he agreed and we exchanged numbers. We say goodbye once again and as I was walking away he said, “Can’t wait!” and I turned my head back and gave a mangled-looking wave of acknowledgment with a scrunched-up half smile. Ew. I couldn’t even play it cool with a simple smile and wave. After walking away I realized what just happened. It was the biggest palm-to-face moment ever. I immediately called my best friend hoping to hear, “It probably wasn’t that bad,” or, “I’ve done that before!” To my dismay, I got a laugh in return, but she said she admired my boldness. I’m not sure if it was boldness or an out-of-body experience but it definitely felt more like the latter. After all that, we actually did end up getting coffee. (Yes they did have tea and water if you were wondering.) We have this idea that girls shouldn’t ask guys out. Asking someone to get coffee (or water) doesn’t mean you’re in love with them. It’s just a way to get to know someone without a screen to hide your face. Yes, being forward is scary. I’m not saying you won’t have fears and doubts, but going for it anyway is what makes someone fearless.
Instead of waiting on someone to approach you, take control! Ask that person you’ve had your eye on to hang out or simply start a conversation next time you see them. This is 2017. The worst that could happen is you get rejected. So then you’re back to where you started and life carries on as it did before. Although nothing came from coffee with cute boy, I’m so glad I asked him despite my struggle in the process. At the end of the day I gained a new friend and a good story. Hopefully your attempt will go more smoothly than mine, but if not, embrace it. The main point is don’t let fear hold you back, no matter how trivial the situation may seem. Nine times out of ten the best things come from taking risks. Be the strong confident woman you were made to be and let’s be fearless together!