During the holidays, every person in America is charged with an unlawful act, so to speak. This action, whether admitted to or not, is known as “First Degree Overindulging”. This is accomplished by the many varieties of meat we consume as well as the casseroles that may or may not contain 6,000 calories apiece. As a human who is quite fond of treating myself to food that could possibly triple my daily calorie count, I have come up with a few steps to convince most importantly it seems, my mother, that I am not gaining ten pounds and a pants size in one day.
Step 1: “Of course I exercise, Mother!”
One might think you could just jump into the
 Step 2: Participate in the cooking.
This year was my first year I engaged in the cooking festivities for Thanksgiving. My grandmother is one of the women who knows every recipe by heart and determines the quality of the food by “taste”. With that being said, I have learned over my many years of watching Food Network that great chefs must sample their food after it has been made. Unquestionably, the sampling is the best part. I discovered that if you are to contribute to the meal, it’s not so unusual that you satisfy yourself by evaluating every dish. (Along with half of the dressing and gravy.) This gives you a great excuse as to why you should be eating as much as you are. Just explain how every great chef has to savor their dishes to fully understand the quality of each and every ingredient.
Step 3: Take it slow.
 At any given dinner, I find myself returning to the kitchen basically every 30 minutes searching for something to nibble on. My father is a lot like myself and regularly tells me to “splurge in shifts”. This may be the greatest advice I’ve ever been given. Think about it this way: intermissions. It’s like a sports game. After your first meal, much like the first half of a football game, you have your halftime to rejuvenate your body and go for seconds, thirds, or fourths if you prefer. This way, you have a little pie here; a little pie there. No big deal. Plus, your jeans won’t bust from having a food child. Of course, digestion takes place during your intermissions.
Step 4: Flaunt it.
Lastly, after all of the holiday smorgasbords, flaunt your freshman fifteen as well as the 30 pounds you so proudly gained throughout the month. Your pants may not zip and you may have a slight pooch under your t-shirts, but hey, look at it this way: everyone in Athens wears leggings and oversized shirts to cover up their muffin tops. So you’re safe! You’ll fit right in! Just make sure your mother doesn’t find out or you will undoubtedly get the “fat talk”.
Finally, follow these simple steps and you will surely enjoy every smell and bite of the holidays. Just think about how delicious that chocolate pie covered in whipped cream is. That’s when you know- every bite is one hundred percent, fully worth it. We are young, beautiful girls with fast metabolisms. I just assume to embrace it.
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