We are officially in cuffing season. As the temperature is going down, we are just looking for somebody to cuddle and watch holiday movies with. With technology, meeting and getting dates has never been easier. You have your choices of dating apps such as Tinder, Bumble, Grinder, etc. But what if dating apps freak you out? That’s no problem. Social media is another great way to meet potential dates. Instagram and Twitter allow you to see a different side of people that normal dating apps do not let you see. You see someone’s profile, you both have been liking each other’s posts or tweets, and sometimes engage in playful commenting. You are ready to take it to the next level—the direct messages, aka sliding into the DMs. Despite wanting this next step, you may not know how to navigate it, especially as a female making the first move (which is totally fine). Here are some things you should do and things to avoid when sliding into the DMs.
What To Do
Do go ahead and make the first move if you feel comfortable. If you do feel comfortable doing this, go ahead girlfriend. Why wait around to see if that cutie whose been liking your photos/tweets consistently will DM you first?
Do say something specific, funny or interesting. DMs are very casual and don’t always have to start with a formal greeting. You can comment about their last post or something related to it. You can even send them a funny tweet or post too. Be fun with it and that will get the conversation going.
Do your research to see if they are available or not. You want to avoid awkwardly sliding into somebody’s DMs who is obviously taken. Do your research first to make sure you don’t get rejected right upfront.
Do be open if they do not respond, or else the small talk turns into nothing. Sometimes you’re afraid to send something else, the conversation goes dry or even worse they just never respond. Be open to all options before you decide to hit send, and know that it’s okay if they never respond. That’s on them.
What NOT To Do
Don’t just say “hey.” Never lead with a one-word greeting, especially if you only know the person through social media. That will turn them off from wanting to respond.
Don’t talk sexual or make sexual jokes. Major turn-off again. You do not want to come off creepy or make the person uncomfortable by your comment. You wouldn’t want to get blocked before they get to see your wonderful personality.
Screenshot provided by Her Campus UGA member, Jasmine Canlas
Don’t straight-up tell them you like them. DM-ing is supposed to be fun and playful. This will lead to either getting their Snapchat or their number. Don’t get so serious within the first few conversations.
Don’t continue to blow-up their phone if they don’t respond. If they don’t respond, that’s their loss. Don’t continue messaging them in the hopes that they will finally respond. This will make things very awkward when you see them on campus knowing they never responded to your messages.
Good luck with your DMs!