Swooning over the iconic 2005 film adaptation of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice is basically a defining part of the female experience. Specifically, swooning over Matthew Macfadyen’s Oscar-worthy rendition of Mr. Darcy, Elizabeth Bennett’s love interest in the story. I recently watched the 2005 movie, which is now almost twenty years old. As I left the Tate theater, I set out to answer one burning question: why do girls love Mr. Darcy so much? Because, frankly, I had fallen under his spell, too. Mr. Darcy is a gentleman – and boys everywhere should take notes.
- HE KNOWS A THING OR TWO ABOUT CONSENT
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I’m sure we all know the iconic Pride and Prejudice rain scene. You know, the one where Elizabeth tells Mr. Darcy that he is the last man in the world she’d want to marry? I bet at least half of us were internally screaming at Darcy to kiss her because she is clearly in love with him, but here’s the thing – he doesn’t kiss her. After Elizabeth went on and on about how much she hated Mr. Darcy, more than anyone, he could’ve run after her like any good rom-com male lead. Instead, Mr. Darcy was patient with Elizabeth. He knew that she didn’t want him around in that moment and he respected her wishes. More importantly, he put Elizabeth’s desires above her own at a time where she clearly voiced what she didn’t want. Now I’m no love expert, but I always consider respect to be the most important part of any bond between two people.
- When he does speak, he’s straightforward
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“I love you. Most ardently.”
In a world where grown men struggle to walk up to girls and say hi, Mr. Darcy’s blunt confession to Elizabeth is a breath of fresh air to us hopeless romantics. Sure, Mr. Darcy isn’t talkative, and from someone who’s met her share of shy guys, that’s already frustrating. Mr. Darcy is different, though, because when he uses his words he gets straight to the point.
- He makes an effort to connect with Elizabeth
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Throughout the entire novel and movie, Mr. Darcy first and foremost wants to get to know Elizabeth better as a person. He asks her to dance multiple times, and when she does accept, he asks her about books. Darcy is quietly observant of Elizabeth and her hobbies – the things that make her happy.
He also points out her skill on the piano when she comes to Rosings, and I thought that was super sweet. I love that Mr. Darcy recognizes Elizabeth’s intelligence, because they often have stimulating conversations, as equals. He doesn’t belittle her, which is a very green flag in my eyes.
- He’s humble
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Mr. Darcy is rich rich. He’s got a massive mansion and a staff of people who work for him, and yet he never brags about it to anyone. I find it admirable that he goes about winning Elizabeth’s heart through his words and actions instead of buying her things because in the real world, you just can’t buy love.
- He takes accountability for his actions
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Mr. Darcy’s famous letter to Elizabeth is the most important scene in Pride and Prejudice because it shows that he isn’t a rude person. In fact, Mr. Darcy has solid character, because he fesses up to interfering with Bingley and Jane’s romance, as well as the truth about what happened with Mr. Wickham and Lydia.
It isn’t a perfect apology letter by any means, but I appreciate how Mr. Darcy owns up to what he did, writes honestly, and seems to be open to growing as a person.
- He knows Elizabeth’s family is important to her
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THE moment Darcy wins Elizabeth over is when he attends Lydia and Wickham’s wedding. He had no reason whatsoever to do this – except for the fact that Lydia is Elizabeth’s dear little sister.
One thing I rarely see people consider in romantic relationships is the circle of friends, family and acquaintances that come with a lover. I have no romantic relationships under my belt, but I think it’s important to think about if you want to be a part of someone’s world before committing to them forever.
- He can tell when others are being mean to Elizabeth
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When the Bingley sisters rudely exclude Elizabeth, Mr. Darcy won’t have it. He makes an effort to make sure she’s included, even when other people don’t.
