If you’re in college and you have finals, there’s a really good chance that you’ve fallen victim to the practically inevitable coffee addiction that starts around the end of the semester. Don’t worry, it happens to the best of us. Since it happens so quickly, here’s a short summary of the five stages that brought you here.
Stage 1: Discovery
It’s the week before finals. You’re just trying to get everything done on time. You haven’t slept in over 24 hours. Your friend offers you a cup of coffee as a pick-me-up, and you take it from her even though you know better. Suddenly, every one of your senses sharpen, and somewhere in the background, “A Whole New World” from Aladdin plays.
Stage 2: Appreciation
After the first cup, you’re amazed by how quickly and efficiently it wakes you up. You discover the wonders of Starbucks, Dunkin’ Donuts, Jittery Joe’s, and the mystical Keurig. Lattes, cappuccinos, frappuccinos, mocha, caramel, pumpkin spice, and espresso. Despite the threat of finals looming over your head, the world seems to be your oyster again.
Stage 3: Dependence
Finals are almost over, and you reach for another cup of coffee. For some reason, though, it doesn’t have quite as much of a kick as you remember. You’ve developed tolerance. Instead of one cup, you down two or three to get the same effect. You tell yourself you don’t have a problem, but your bank account cries in protest with every $5-$7 purchase at Starbucks. You can’t stop because what will you do without it?
Stage 4: Realization
You’ve turned in your last final, and you walk out feeling accomplished. There’s now no true reason for you to consume as much coffee as you have been so you decide to cut back. But you do not anticipate the side-effects. You shake, you’re irritable, maybe you have a splitting headache. You realize that you can no longer properly function without coffee in your system. What do you do?
Stage 5: Acceptance
You accept that you have joined the leagues of other coffee addicts around the world and celebrate your newly earned status by heading to your nearest coffee shop for another espresso drink. You love coffee, and you aren’t ashamed to admit it.
Now all you coffee drinkers, go out and buy yourselves another cup and let the vicious cycle begin again just in time for finals!