You know them, you love them, maybe you get frustrated with them: Personality tests and quizzes are the American Gen Z-er and millennial’s favorite pastime. Okay, so probably not the truth, but something true enough. Who hasn’t taken a Buzzfeed quiz or two when they were bored or tried to see which fictional character they were most compatible with? As a Communication Studies major myself (not to be short-handed “Communications major,” which drives my professors insane sometimes), I’ve taken my fair share of personality tests in the multitude of communication studies classes that I’ve had. Most of the ones we take in classes are those backed by research studies or prominent institutes, such as the Gottman Institute, which describes itself as “a research-based approach to relationships.” I’m a big nerd when it comes to research-backed personality, communication, and romance-centered tests and quizzes, especially when they tell you how best to navigate and manage your results.
I’m always getting my friends and peers to take these personality tests and quizzes because I think they have a lot of benefits to them as they apply to your life. Below are five tests I believe everyone should take to understand themselves and their communication styles best! Most of these center on relationships, so hopefully, you find these helpful whether you’re currently in a relationship, wanting to be in a relationship, or just curious about your results in general.
1. Attachment Style Test [Ainsworth and Bowlby, 1991]
There are four main types of attachment styles: secure, anxious-preoccupied, dismissive-avoidant, and fearful-avoidant. The varying degrees of “thoughts related to self” and “thoughts related to partner/others” is what determines which attachment style one is classified. It’s essential to learn your attachment style to understand how your childhood upbringing affects how you love and perceive love now. Most people aim to get to a secure attachment for the rest of their lives, but it’s okay to fluctuate throughout time. Learn more about attachment styles here.
2. Love Languages Test [Chapman, 1992]
Perhaps one of the more “mainstream” tests backed by research, the five primary love languages (acts of service, quality time, receiving gifts, physical touch, and words of affirmation), describe the primary ways in which individuals both receive and give affection/love. These can apply to both romantic and platonic relationships. Understanding your primary love language (and even your secondary and tertiary love languages), as well as that of your partner or your loved ones, can help you grow and develop your relationships. You can find more information on the different love languages through the official 5 Love Languages website here.
3. Love Attitudes Scale [Hendrick and Hendrick,1986]
This scale measures how people express and experience romantic affection and centers around The Color Wheel Theory of Love by Lee (1973). When I took this test, it was during my Communicating in Close Relationships (COMM 4500) class, so we got to take the official one written on paper. While I, unfortunately, couldn’t find an online version of this test, I did find a PDF copy, courtesy of The University of Washington. You won’t be able to simply put in your answers to a magical online calculating wizard. Still, I think the overall usefulness of knowing your love style outweighs any inconvenience made by not having a ready-made online test. You can learn more about Lee’s love styles here.
4. Flirting Styles Inventory [Hall, 2013]
In 2013, Jeffery Hall, an assistant professor of communication studies at the University of Kansas in Lawrence, published a book titled The Five Flirting Styles: Use the Science of Flirting to Attract the Love You Really Want, which highlighted the five main types of flirting styles he found in his research on heterosexual couples: physical, traditional, polite, sincere, and playful. The differences in flirting styles depend on multiple factors, such as mannerisms, gender roles, goals, intentions, etc. You can find more information on the different flirting styles here.
Happy test taking!