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Movies from the 2000s helped reinforce the idea that we need romance to live a happy life. The idea of a “happily ever after” was introduced to girls through fairy tales, in which princesses had to be rescued by princes who showed up at the end of the story and barely did anything. Since then, we’ve grown up normalizing relationships with significant age gaps, marriages to people we barely know, and, above all, the idea that we should do whatever it takes to win a man’s heart and keep him around.
These movies often follow very similar narrative structures. Their protagonists are frequently journalists with promising careers who seem to have little room for romantic relationships. They work for newspapers and magazines, interview people, and chase stories, but are portrayed as socially awkward. Their education is belittled, their personalities are questioned, and their appearances are criticized—even when they’re played by actresses who fit conventional beauty standards.
The movie also presents other problematic ideas, such as treating Bridget’s weight as something that needs to be fixed. In the end, she ends up with Mark Darcy, a man with whom she has a conflict-filled relationship and who criticizes her at the beginning of the story. This is her “happily ever after.”
In The Devil Wears Prada (2006), a journalist just starting her career lands a highly coveted job. Her boss is terrible, but the protagonist works hard to handle her responsibilities. As she dedicates more and more time to her job, her romantic relationship begins to suffer because her boyfriend can’t accept how much she works. Throughout the movie, the relationship becomes an obstacle to her career. In the end, she lands another job, but the story also places significant emphasis on her love life, as if professional success and romantic fulfillment were always at odds.
The main character of Sex and the City: The Movie (2008), Carrie Bradshaw, has a successful career as a writer and columnist, but the plot revolves around her love life and her desire to marry Big. Miranda also faces a marital crisis, but after going through a difficult time with Steve, they attend couples therapy and decide to try to rebuild their relationship.
Charlotte is happily married and raising her adopted daughter. During the movie, she discovers that she’s pregnant and also helps Carrie deal with the events unfolding in her love life. The only character with a different ending is Samantha. After growing tired of managing her boyfriend’s career, she decides to put herself first and ends the movie happy and single—a miracle for films from that era.
In the romantic comedy How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (2003), the protagonist decides to write an article about how to drive men away after her pitch about politics is rejected and she watches a friend lose a boyfriend of just one week. Throughout the movie, she does everything men supposedly hate. However, the guy she chooses for the experiment is trying to land a diamond advertising campaign and needs to make a woman fall in love with him to get it.
Because of their professional goals, the two keep dating even after he’s tired of the situation and wants to break up. Near the end, she realizes she’s fallen in love but discovers the truth and decides to end the relationship. Just as she’s about to pursue her dream job, he goes after her to convince her to stay. That’s the story’s “happily ever after.”
In 13 Going on 30 (2004), the protagonist hides in a closet on her 13th birthday and wishes she were 30, an age that represents success to her. Her wish comes true, and she wakes up working at her favorite magazine and dating a handsome man. However, she realizes she’s become a bad person and tries to make things right. The solution is to return to her parents’ house and wish she were 13 again, allowing her to build a romantic relationship with her best friend. In the end, the two are shown married at 30, while her professional accomplishments receive less attention in the final scene.
Josie Geller, from Never Been Kissed (1999), is a promising 25-year-old journalist who is very intelligent but considered awkward. She was bullied in high school and still carries several emotional scars from that time. She’s also never been kissed. The newspaper’s owner decides to send someone undercover to investigate a story, and Josie is chosen to pose as a 17-year-old high school student.
During the investigation, she starts developing feelings for a teacher who believes she’s 17 and feels guilty about their growing connection. With her brother’s help, Josie manages to become a popular student. At prom, she reveals the truth. In her article, she writes about her experience and says she’ll wait for the teacher in the middle of the baseball field. Her “happily ever after” is her first kiss, not the success of her reporting.
These movies contributed to making many women feel unattractive, believe they had bad personalities, or feel that something was wrong with them for prioritizing school and work. Above all, they reinforced the feeling of always being behind in life. Still single? Still unmarried? Still haven’t had a child? Still haven’t had a second child?
It feels like we’re always racing against time, as if the clock is running out. But no matter how often we’re told these things should be our dreams, they don’t have to be. Don’t forget who you are and what you love. A romantic relationship doesn’t define who you are, much less determine your success.