Why I Hate Having Big Boobs

Okay, “hate” is a strong word. I don’t hate my boobs. I just have a complicated relationship with them.

People (who wear a B cup or smaller) tell me all the time that I’m so lucky, or that they’re jealous of my boobs.But I don’t think they fully realize how annoying boobs can be. I wear a DDD cup, so I have to wear a bra during pretty much all of my waking hours if I want to be comfortable. I’m barred from wearing a lot of the clothes I want to wear because they either require wearing a strapless bra or no bra at all. And no offense to my smaller boob girls, but if one of y’all tells me to just not wear a bra one more time, I’m gonna lose it.

My boobs started coming in when I was in the fourth or fifth grade and honestly, I was not ready for them. I hated how my body was changing and I really hated wearing bras. I always felt constricted by my little Limited Too training bras and couldn’t believe my mom and grandmother when they told me I’d get used to the feeling.

I avoided wearing bras for as long as I could, until one fateful day in the fifth grade. I went to a charter school, where we had to wear uniforms every day, but every now and then we were given “free dress” days, where we could wear our normal clothes and it was a big deal. On this specific free dress day, I had decided to wear a light blue T-shirt. It was cut to be really flowy and whimsical like what a fairy would wear. The shirt had seams which ran under the breast area, which made it seem like it had cups. My awkward fifth grade self though those cups were enough to support me so I wouldn’t need to wear a bra. I was wrong. Apparently, the shirt was a little too thin, because the “popular” girls  started giggling and pointing at me. Eventually, I confronted them to find out why they were laughing, and they said,

“Um, you have to wear a bra with that shirt..”

I was absolutely mortified. Frankly, I don’t think that mishap was a good start to a life with boobs; it probably scarred me for a couple of years afterward. It wasn’t until the seventh or eighth grade that I was a little bit proud of having boobs.

These days, having breasts that are on the larger side is more of an annoyance. Most of the time they’re just in the way, or pushing my shirts out so that I look like I’m twice as thick as I actually am. They’re fun to have maybe 15% of the time, but I really can’t dress in a way that highlights them at all or I’ll look “inappropriate.” A lot of the time, I feel that I’m over-sexualized by other people because of them, even though I literally can’t do anything about them.

All things considered, I am glad I have them and I’m grateful that they’re healthy. I had a breast cancer scare last year which led to a biopsy and a lot of anxiety. It ended up being a benign growth, but it really scared me and put things into perspective.

I think everyone takes issue with their boobs and body image at some point in their life, but what’s really important is that they’re healthy. Sometimes it can bereally hard to love your body, so it helps to remember the things that are positive but seem less important.