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Tessa Pesicka / Her Campus
Sex + Relationships

Why Being Single Doesn’t Make Me Unhappy

When I think of being single, I instantly think of the time when someone told me: “Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that you aren’t with anyone, you’re too pretty to be single.” I remember immediately feeling annoyed and even degraded. Is someone not whole if they aren’t in a relationship? Does being single make us less than anyone else? I often ask myself these questions. But, the truth of the matter is that it shouldn’t matter. As a single woman, I am happy, and I don’t feel the need to rush into a relationship anytime soon. And that’s okay. Here’s why.

My life is too busy for a relationship

Look, I am a busy person. I am currently in my last semester of college, which is so exciting but also so stressful! Some days, I am on campus for nearly twelve hours and don’t get to sleep until midnight at the earliest. School is time consuming, sleep depriving and fast paced. Where could I fit a relationship between all of my homework, projects and meetings? I can’t. If I am being completely honest, I like being busy. I like being in a routine and always having to do something. It just wouldn’t necessarily be fair to someone to not give them the time they deserve.

I get to prioritize my life the way that I want it

I love my life. Truly, I do. I love the fact that being single allows me to do whatever I want to do, exactly when I would like to do it. I prioritize certain things in my life and that makes me motivated to keep it that way. For instance, most weekends are when I allow myself to take a step back from studying and enjoy time alone. I often go to Saturday morning yoga classes at a local studio. Sometimes, my friends will ask if I want to tag along for brunch. Other times, I find myself roaming grocery store aisles on a lazy Sunday afternoon. The possibilities are endless. While single, make sure to do everything your heart desires. Travel. Write. See how many TV shows you can binge watch in one week. That’s the beauty of not being tied to anyone, though. There is no set schedule and you have ample time to yourself. It’s a win-win.

I get to work on myself

I have a lot to work on as a person. A human being. In order to fully be there for someone else, I need to ask myself a few things. Am I even ready for a relationship? What are things I need to work on to improve my own self-love and care? These questions are so essential to making sure you are the best version of yourself. In my current stage of life, I value my independence far too much. We all have faults and weaknesses, but it’s up to each of us to recognize them prior to getting into a committed relationship. That way, when we do fall in love, we know who we are, and we know how hard we’ve worked to get to that point.

I know that I don’t want to settle

Settling. Don’t do it. You remember the scene in “Perks of Being a Wallflower” when Sam (aka Emma Watson) said “Why do we pick people who treat us like we’re nothing”? I remember watching that scene and how hard that line metaphorically slapped me in the face. I was guilty of constantly settling for less than what I deserved. Looking back, I can’t believe I was always so naive. No matter how lonely you get or how much you want to be with someone, never settle for just anyone. Know who you want. Make sure you fall in love with someone that genuinely cares about you, your heart and your soul. You won’t regret waiting, I promise.

So, yes, you can be single and happy. It’s possible. Try your best to work on yourself so you can give 110 percent to your future partner. Relationships don’t have to be this tricky, frightening thing if you put in the work prior to getting into one. Until then, enjoy the single life and realize how incredible you are all on your own.

Features Writer for Her Campus UFL. Reader. Writer. UF English Literature student.
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