Normally, the high holiday season is my favorite time of the year: the uplifting prayers, the timeless traditions, and the quality time with friends and family. Celebrating holidays as an Orthodox Jew involves disengaging from all forms of technology– trading my phone and computer for a siddur (prayer book), great food, and a spiritual day. I love the tradeoff: I rid myself of technology for a day and gain a day aimed at fostering relationships with my family, friends, and God.
The first holiday of the season, Rosh Hashanah, the two day Jewish new year, marks God’s creation of the world and begins the period of the days of awe and repentance. Spending the majority of the day in a synagogue, Yom Kippur, a 25 hour fast, is designed for introspection and atoning for the sins of the past year. Four days later, Sukkot, literally the festival of booths, is another two day holiday commemorating God’s protection of the Jews in the wilderness and success of the harvest. The high holiday season culminates with the two day holiday of Simchat Torah, celebrating the completion of Torah (bible) and its constant renewal.
Normally, I love that all these holidays are jam-packed into a span of 3 weeks, creating such a sacred and meaningful period, invigorating me for the rest of the year. But this year, for the first time in my life, I found myself in a world where I was not given off for my holidays. Assignment deadlines and test dates did not take my holidays in account. Many awkward emails requesting extensions and makeup tests were sent. This year, the three week span of holidays left me drowning in work with a surging stress level.
I am your classic overachiever, completely obsessed with school. Missing out on a party or hangout to study for a big test is always a no brainer for me. I am happy to pull all nighter to perfect that five page essay. Nothing brings me greater joy than completing an assignment. I always submit my work on time and everyone who knows me refers to me as a kiss-up.
So naturally losing valuable time that could be spent studying or working on school assignments, should have posed a major challenge for me. But surprisingly, it didn’t.
I’m not going to lie and tell you it all worked it out in the end. I’m not going to pretend that I gave school my full effort or that I still got amazing grades. Because disclaimer: I didn’t.
Contrary to what Hannah Montana says, it is impossible to always get “the best of both worlds”.
For the first time in my life, I was proud to have rushed through my work and not give it my all. I was proud of the B on my test instead of the A. I was proud to leave my computer powered off on my desk and skip class. This year celebrating my holidays wasn’t so easy, and I am so grateful for that. I discovered how much I value my holidays, and how important my religion is to me. In the grand scheme of things, I know I won’t remember the economics assignment that had to scramble to finish before shutting off my computer, but when I picture my future I know I want Judaism to play an integral role in my life.
I now know that some things in life are worth sacrificing for.
As I embark on my college journey, I hope I continue to choose meaning and purpose. I hope I always remember that there is more to life than grades or a resume or even a job or a promotion; there is more to life than these transitory accomplishments. I hope I always remain true to myself.
I know my experience is not unique. We all grow up instilled with the message that as long as we work hard enough, we can accomplish everything we want. But sometimes that’s simply not true; inevitably, there will be times where we will be forced to choose. As difficult and as painful as choice is in the moment, making the choice forces you to figure out what you want to be defined by. You never realize how much you value something until you are forced to make a sacrifice for it.
We all have so many conflicting priorities: whether it’s attaining the 4.0 GPA, an important cause, commitment to a religion, being a dedicated player on a sports team, being a president of a time consuming club, spending time with family, or a serious relationship with a boyfriend etc. At some point, two values will clash and you will be forced to choose between them. Don’t let what you truly value slip away and fall through the cracks because of the pressures and demands of life. Don’t go to class on your holiday. Don’t give up what is important to you.
Introspect with honesty and access what you value most: what can’t you imagine your life without? As much as we all want the A–do you actually need that A in order to be you? Do you think settling for an A- or a B will fundamentally change who you are? If it will, go pursue that A and don’t let anything stop you. But if it won’t, still obviously aim for A and always give your best, but when something that you value conflicts with that assignment, don’t be afraid to settle. I promise it will be worthwhile in the long run.