Before college, friendships were easy. We’d meet in school and see each other all the time. There wasn’t much thought put into planning when we’d reunite next, it was just known. Fast forward to college, and suddenly, seeing each other is so much harder. I still go to the same school as some of my high school friends, but we’ve never planned to hang out while we’ve been at college. We’d only see each other by chance on campus while going from one class to another. Maybe I’d even get the occasional Facebook invite to an event their club hosted, but that was it.
I sat down and asked myself, “What happened with these friendships?” It’s not like we got into a fight or anything? When we do run into each other, we’re still friendly. So why can’t we make plans to hang out like friends do?
And that’s when I realized that college friendships are completely different from all the friendships I’ve had before. Friendships were made from the sheer convenience of finding someone like me and that I saw regularly, like at school where we spent a great deal of our time. And now, since college classes don’t confine students to the same area for a great chunk of the day, it’s harder to make those connections. I now have to go out of my way to meet people.
During my first year, I heard from people that the best way to make friends is to join clubs and organizations on campus. I joined the Inter-Residence Hall Association (IRHA), an organization that hosts events at the campus dorms and supports students. While I did get to meet people, I didn’t necessarily end up with close friends. Fast forward to sophomore year, I applied to Her Campus UFL and was accepted. I got along with all the ladies in HC UFL and made close friends. That same semester, I also got involved with UF Student Government and made friends there. Once I found organizations that matched my interests, meeting people like myself was an easy task.
Besides making friends in organizations, I met my best friend in college by coincidence. We lived on the same floor in the same dorm building during freshman year. I’d run into her in the hallway multiple times during the first weeks of school. We started to say hi to each other and eventually began talking to each other. We clicked easily and talked to each other about everything. During my second year, my friend transferred to another school for personal reasons. I felt sad since I no longer had a best friend at UF. Despite not seeing each other in person, we keep in touch, updating each other on major events. We tried meeting up in person, but our schedules never lined up. But I’m hopeful we’ll meet again soon.
It also can be nice to strike up a conversation with the person seated next to me before class starts. This is especially beneficial if the class has a group project. If we know each other well before the project, we can work together effectively. And I’ve even met people that I was compatible with in a few of my classes. In many cases, we had the same major or were in the same school within the university.
I met a student who was a mechanical engineering major in my math class. We bonded over engineering degree requirements, venting about the required classes we took but didn’t like. I enjoy a class much more when I connect with someone. Unfortunately, in my experience, it rarely lasts beyond the class. When I run into that person again, we make small talk and update each other on what’s new.
As for my friends from before college, I’ve ended up in an interesting dynamic with them. Through social media, I’m still able to maintain friendships from early in my life, but they’re not quite the same. I tried meeting up with one of my friends from elementary school after not seeing her for 10 years. We had a difficult time making conversation, and it was forced. But we still have a good relationship on social media. We like and comment on each other’s statuses and stay up to date on each other’s lives in that fashion.
So, I have been wondering, “Are online friendships worth keeping?” Are they even real? Are we friends? Acquaintances? Again, there is no disagreement in these friendships, so there’s no reason to end them. Online interactions also allow me to know what is going on in their lives. While meeting in person doesn’t necessarily work since we have grown as different people, or are incompatible, the online friendship is still there. But there is still a possibility we may end up in the same place, need each other’s support and rekindle an in-person friendship – only time will tell.
Navigating different friendships in college can be a challenge but each has its own purpose. By staying on top of them, you can have a supportive group of people.