I’ll never forget the rush of moving into my apartment as a new member of UF’s community. I felt like an alien. I was in awe of the new things around me and filled with a nervous excitement as I decorated my new room. One thing that captivated me as I drove to campus the week before school started was the lines of polished girls in dainty and curated dresses, all holding mini electric fans as they hurriedly crossed the streets. I remember hearing my grandpa in the back of the Jeep saying, “is this an all-girls college?” While his comment was funny and far from true, I can see why he would think that, given that was his first impression of UF. I knew rush week was happening but I was still taken aback by this extraordinary scene. Unexpectedly, this alluring phenomenon became a prevalent part of my life. Many of you may have some colorful preconceptions about SEC sorority life, but I urge you to take the time to uncover the true essence of this uplifting community, like I did.
When I first walked into my new four-bedroom apartment, it was shockingly quiet compared to the festivities I just witnessed outside. I was prepared to introduce myself to my new roommates, but I spent the whole day setting my room up without seeing any of them. Later, I found out that I was living with two sorority members and a rushing freshman. That explained why it was such a ghost town; my roommates were out-and-about all day attending to their sorority duties. The peace was nice, since I was already overstimulated by the move, but it was hard to comprehend that these girls had to be out in the blazing Florida heat all day. It wasn’t until my second afternoon that I met two of my roommates. I walked into the living room and saw the exhausted faces of two Kappas laying on the couch – finally catching a break from recruitment.
That described my first week in Gainesville. Having the apartment to myself as I settled in and brief encounters with my roommates throughout the day when they weren’t at their sorority. One night when we were able to relax in the living room to get to know each other.I heard some unusual terms coming from the girls as they chatted about their busy days. I heard the phrases PNM (potential new member), bid day, big/little, chapter and the list goes on. My first week there I stopped to ask what each term meant multiple times. It was like they were in a secret society I couldn’t fully comprehend. I wasn’t annoyed about it, I was intrigued. This whole sorority thing was obviously a big part of their lives. Now as their roommate and good friend, I wanted to understand these fervent conversations.
Then came the night that marked the end of rush madness – bid day, which is the final day of recruitment when PNMs receive and accept their bids to their selected sorority houses. I knew from movies and conversations with friends in sororities that this day can be emotional, sometimes in a good way and other times ending in disaster. I mean, just watching my freshman roommate tiredly going to events all day, wearing different outfits to match theme, and asking my older roommates for advice on conversations, made me aware of how much effort these girls put into getting the house they want. I’m sure it can feel devastating to put that much time and dedication just to fall at the final hurdle. Luckily, that night, my roommate came in happy, finding out that she got into Kappa. This news made me feel joy and relief for her. Knowing that all my roommates were now in the same sorority made me feel hopeful for our unity, even though I am the odd one out.
The next week came where two of my roommates were assigned littles. What I learned is that a couple weeks after bid day, the second-year girls get assigned a “little” (new member) and every week until they find a girl they truly bond with is their permanent little for the rest of their time in the sorority. So, for the next few weeks I got to meet a lot of fresh, new Kappa girls coming in and out of the apartment, and I’ve grown to love them all. Never once did anyone make me feel left out even though I wasn’t in Kappa. I was new and wanted to make friends, and the fact that my roommates were inviting new girls to our home to meet daily, helped me build my community vicariously through this sorority process.
Through the bonds I have made with several Kappa members, new and old, I have been invited to multiple date functions, which are social events organized by the sorority where each member can bring a date. As you might presume, my friends have taken turns bringing me as their date. My favorite themes have been “Kappas in the Quarter”, a mardi gras themed event, and “Midnight in Manhattan”, where I got to wear a classy, Sex and the City inspired outfit with sparkles and heels.
Through these social events and nights sitting in my living room with my roommates as they told me about their stressful days, I have grown a lot of respect for these dedicated women. I mean, these are fellow UF students juggling school, clubs and sorority expectations such as attending chapter, a weekly house meeting that members must attend and showing up to date functions to maintain unity with their sisters. There’s also a point system members have to keep up with to uphold their position in a sorority and get benefits such as being eligible to attend social events. They earn points by volunteering and attending optional sisterhood events. This can get serious, as they can also lose points from missing mandatory events, which carry hefty consequences.
Sitting back and writing this, I am happy I get to be a part of this world through my friends and roommates. I don’t mind being an outsider because I never feel left out, and I think that says a lot about these communities of girls. Moving to UF, all I knew about sororities was from what I have seen on the satire series, Scream Queens. And yes, there are obviously a lot of stereotypes that I hope I have helped to debunk. No, they are not always partying and have to show a lot of discipline in their daily lives in order to meet the expectations I outlined. And no, they are not “paying for friends.” Sure, rushing exposes you to a lot of students, but genuine friendships grow between these girls outside of their sorority and I experienced this firsthand. I am proud to say that I will continue to cherish my role, as these girls call me their “honorary Kappa.”