Sheryl Sandberg is an American technology executive and former Chief Operating Officer of Meta, previously known as Facebook. She is also the author of the international bestseller, Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead.
My mom gifted me this book a few months before I left for college, and after months of putting it off, I finally read it. I feel that the knowledge I gained from this book is so valuable that it will completely change how I approach my life. If it were up to me, I would have every woman in college read it. But, as a woman in college, I know how daunting that task can be. So instead, here’s my summarized version. This is everything I learned from Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead.
Sandberg opens the book with an anecdote from her time working at Google. She explains how, one day during her pregnancy, she had to sprint across a parking lot to make it to a meeting in time, triggering severe nausea. The next day, she went to Sergey Brin, one of the founders of Google, and announced that pregnancy parking was necessary, to which he immediately agreed, noting he had never considered it. Sandberg tells this story to make the point that her top leadership position at Google allowed her to solve a problem that so many likely suffered from in silence. This is what I believe sets Sandberg’s book apart from other feminist works: she not only explains the problem but also proposes a solution.
Sandberg believes that despite the disadvantages women face, we must take it upon ourselves to adapt to these disadvantages and obtain top-leadership positions to fix these issues and pave a path for future women. She puts things plainly and truthfully saying, “The blunt truth is that men still run the world,” stating that, at the time of publishing, only 19 of the 195 independent countries are run by women, and that, in the US, women only hold 25% of senior executive positions.
As a woman, I’m slightly embarrassed to admit that these statistics were higher than I expected and honestly seemed like a win for women. But although it does signal progress, it’s important to remember that women make up 50% of the population, making these numbers highly disproportional.
As college students, we’re surrounded by both intellectual men and women, making it easy to assume that the days during which women were disadvantaged are far behind us. Reading this book was not easy because it opened my eyes to many barriers I will have to face simply because of my gender. But it is because of this that I am now more equipped to overcome these barriers.
Unfortunately, some of these barriers come from within. The book illustrates how, despite girls outperforming boys in classrooms throughout the U.S., the same is not true once they enter the workforce. This is partly because the traits young girls are taught to develop, such as politeness and quietness, actually hinder them once they enter the workplace. Sandberg also references a phenomenon called the “stereotype threat,” which is best explained with an example: stereotypically, boys are superior at math and science when compared to girls, and when girls are reminded of their gender before a math or science test, they perform worse. This phenomenon discourages women from entering technical fields, which is one of the key reasons STEM fields are usually dominated by men.
Additionally, Sandberg explains that while men will explain their success as a result of their qualities and skills, women will often attribute their strides to external factors, such as getting lucky or working extremely hard. Additionally, when a man fails, he will likely attribute this failure to factors such as not studying enough or not finding the material interesting. However, when women fail, they are more likely to believe it is due to an inherent absence of ability.
I know I have definitely fallen victim to this thinking. I don’t give myself credit for my successes, but when I fail, I put it entirely on myself. Learning that this is a problem many women face and merely the knowledge that I possess this trait has given me the opportunity to remove or reduce a barrier I did not even realize was present.
Unfortunately, this lack of self-recognition affects women in ways beyond a mere lack of pride. One example by Sandberg includes an anecdote about a friend who was offered a significant top-level position, but instead of immediately accepting, she asked to think about it first because she didn’t believe she was sufficiently qualified. When she talked it through with her husband, he replied, “Do you think a man would have ever answered that question that way?” Women often hold themselves back from opportunities because they do not believe they are cut out for it. This would not be so much of a problem if it weren’t for the fact that men do not follow suit, launching themselves at all opportunities, which contributes to the disparity between men and women in top-level positions.
According to an internal report at Hewlett-Packard cited by Sandberg, women only apply for jobs if they think they meet 100% of the criteria, while men will only apply if they think they meet 60%, resulting in a huge ripple effect when it comes to getting hired. Even after getting hired, women continue to limit themselves by not applying for promotions. This is often under the belief that good performance will naturally result in rewards, a term coined as “Tiara Syndrome.” Sandberg posits that, while in a perfect world this would be true, when good performance is not recognized, we women must advocate for ourselves. Sandberg is very clear that this must be done with caution, but it must be done.